No-child weddings are hardly a new thing. Considering the cost and the often times drunken nature of weddings, many brides prefer their special days to be adults only. So when one bride said no after she was asked by her bridesmaid to make an exception for a mutual friend who just had her baby, only to be met with hostility, she was a little shocked.
The bride said that she learned of her bridesmaid's concern in a casual conversation.
"My opinion is I don't want babies at my wedding," the bride-to-be concluded. "if the mother doesn't want to leave them then the mother doesn't come to the wedding. My bridesmaid was saying I can't expect breastfeeding mothers to not be with their babies and if I don't care if they come, then why bother inviting them."
That ultimately stunned the future bride and prompted her to ask reddit if she was in the wrong.
For the most part, redditors were genuinely baffled at the bridesmaid's reaction.
"You invite people, and they decide if they want to come," wrote one redditor matter-of-factly. "Some breastfeeding moms would be fine being away for a few hours and some wouldn't, it's their choice. Easy peasy, lemon squeezy."
Others noted that it is an invitation, not a summons.
"This whole 'if you don’t care then why invite them?' thing is crazy. I invite everyone I would like to see/share this with but it’s not like everyone who gets an invitation absolutely has to show up or the wedding is ruined," commiserated another person.
Some did, however, feel a little torn on if the future bride was in the right or not.
"I wanna say yes AND no. I feel you are both NTA and TA for sending out an invitation to a new mother who would probably love to be there but you are not allowing her to be there with her new baby," wrote one user. "Being away from a new baby is extremely hard, but also having the attitude of not really caring whether someone with a new baby comes or not is kind of mean. Think of how much it would mean to this guest of yours who might really want a night out away from her 4 walls of the same mundane routine."
At least one commenter had a really helpful suggestion.
"Most weddings I’ve been to have made an exception for 'babes in arms,'" explained one user. "babies of less than about 6 months who need to be carried (and are often still exclusively breastfed). They don’t tend to be as loud or disruptive as toddlers or older children, and they can’t usually spend as much time away from their parents."
That is something the bride was super open to trying.
"I like that 'babes in arms' idea actually," the bride responded. "It might be a good compromise. I do understand what she's saying about breastfed babies it's just that I don't want everyone saying but why can't my kid come too. Because there's always those people."
All in all, we hope she has a magical day, whether babies are there or not.
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