Mom Shows She’s a ‘Monster MIL In Training’ After She Grills & Judges Son’s GF at Family Gathering

Before challenging mother-in-law and daughter-in-law dynamics develop, there could be clashing between mom and a son's girlfriend. Redditors are predicting that a poster will turn into a monster MIL after she took to the Am I the A–hole subreddit to ask if she's in the wrong for grilling her son's girlfriend and then concluding that they're not a match.

The OP noted that her son is 20 and has been dating a young woman from school for about six months.

"She's an international student from New Zealand, but has family here so is staying with them during COVID-19," wrote the mom. "Due to lockdown restrictions and such, we hadn't met her until a couple nights ago, when I invited her over for dinner with my family. We had FaceTimed a few times but not spoken a lot."

The mom said she and her husband are "very Catholic and traditional," but traveled a lot during their 20s and visited New Zealand.

"We visited her hometown, so asked her a few questions about it which she happily answered, but when I asked about her Maori heritage and family, became quite uncomfortable, and said she didn't know a whole lot about it which I find hard to believe," the OP wrote. "We asked her if she was religious, she laughed and said no. We asked her about her degree which she seemed very passionate about, but it's a fashion degree which isn't exactly going to get her very far, in comparison to my son who is a law student."

The mom observed that "it's clear" the girlfriend loves her son, and her other children "adored her."

"But I don’t think she’s the right fit for my son," the OP concluded. "Her parents were both 16 when they had her, and she’s very open with the fact that they have a strong dislike for each other and haven’t spoken since she was 6 months old. She also seems to have a bizarre relationship with each of her parents."

"After dinner, she went and played Monopoly with my daughters and sons and made a couple crude jokes," the OP said.

The mom also thought the girlfriend laughed at her son when he lost the game. 

"My son asked me if she could stay, and I said she could as long as she slept in a separate room which he said was ridiculous as they're both 20 and are living together next year," the mom wrote. "She decided to leave as she 'didn't feel welcome.'" 

That's when the Redditor told her son that she doesn't approve and she'd like to set him up with "a nice girl" from her church. "But he said he loves her and was furious I would even suggest it," the OP wrote. "My other son, who's 16, heard me and said he really liked her. My husband said that even if I felt like that, I shouldn't vocalize it because it's clear my son loves her. I understand that, but he should be with someone more suitable for our family in my opinion."

She then turned it over to the community asking if she's the a–hole.

The Reddit community quickly skewered the judgmental poster.

"So, let's get this straight — you interrogated her about religion and her heritage the first time meeting her, suggested your son date someone else after she left, and you're wondering why she didn't feel welcome? You're the a–hole," wrote one commenter.

Another wrote: "Can't wait for her to write about her 'awful daughter-in-law who took my son away from me! All I did was insult her, judged her passions and future livelihood, and of course I despise her because she's not from the same religion, social class, or ethnicity but that's not racism, just my god given right as a horrendous mother!' Hey OP, you're the a–hole. Take a long hard look in the mirror tonight."

A third agreed, pointing out, "Questioning her about her indigenous heritage when first meeting her just seems like there might be a racist subtext here."

One person even expressed cynicism that this post was legit. "I'm really struggling to believe it's a real post," the commenter noted. "It's full of so many negative, female, religious mother stereotypes, it's comical."

The bottom line: This OP best follow her fellow Redditors' advice and cultivate some self-awareness.

Otherwise, as one Redditor pointed out, we will "definitely be reading about" this woman on the subreddit r/JUSTNOMIL.

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