Picking a baby name is one of the most fun parts of pregnancy, but it also can be fraught with potential drama. Do we go with the traditional spelling or something more unique? Should we take the chance to go with something gender neutral or ultra feminine or masculine? Should we take the name of our sister's dead husband, without even asking her?
Wait, what??
Although we usually don't really believe in the concept of baby name stealing (all parents get to make the choice that's right for them, even when it makes things awkward), we may have to reconsider that stance after reading a recent post on the always entertaining Am I the A–hole forum on Reddit. The original poster (OP) was a mom-to-be who recently started major family drama over a stolen baby name, but we've got to admit: We're kind of on her side on this one!
This baby name drama all started with two sisters pregnant at the same time.
According to OP, the sisters were not only both pregnant at the same time, but they were also both living in the same house as their parents.
OP explained that "I (30F) am 8 months pregnant with my first child, it's a boy. My husband Rodrigo (35M) died in the army 3 months ago. My sister Kayla (28F) just gave birth five days ago. She and her BF live with our parents, and I temporarily moved in as well (it's a very big house) because I hated being alone and my parents have been very supportive."
So far so good, right?
It sounds like it was all going well enough until her sister had the baby and announced that his name was Rodrigo.
And here's where the drama begins, because OP was also planning to use the name Rodrigo.
OP explained, "We were going to name the baby Alex, and I am still going with that, plus Rodrigo as a middle name. My sister never discussed baby names with me or the family, she just always said she loves Hispanic names (we are white Americans, my husband was Mexican)."
Upon hearing the news that her sister stole the name of OP's late husband, OP was understandably upset.
"I started crying and told her that's really awful of her. My mother comforted me and told my sister she is way out of line with the name. Sister says I don't own the name, it's a common name where we live (it is) and I am going with Rodrigo a middle name anyway, not a first, so it won't be a problem."
Um, agree to disagree, OP's sister!
OP is now demanding her sister change the baby's name, but her sister is refusing.
Although OP might not be getting a lot of support from her sister on this one, users on Reddit are firmly on her side.
As one poster noted, "If she thought you might be OK with it she would have asked you how you felt about naming her baby after your husband. It’s weird to name your baby after your sister’s husband, doesn’t matter if he’s alive or dead. She should’ve asked you. Of course you don’t own the name, but it looks super weird. The fact that she sprung it on you and surprised you with it shows that she knew you probably weren’t going to be OK with it."
Another user agreed and really blasted the sister, writing, "Sister is just a b—-. She is giving her son a name he is supposed to live a lifetime with just [to] be petty and cruel to her grieving sister. If the deceased had been named Bob, Robert would have still been off limits for naming the kid in this situation."
The person continued: "And think of the kid going through life with a spite name. 'I was named after a dead uncle, no blood relationship, that died before I was born, to spite my then pregnant and newly widowed aunt, who is my mom's sister. My mom is a petty and hateful b—- and I'm living proof.' Grandparents should have a serious conversation with her about this hateful act."
It doesn't seem like it can get worse, but then OP spilled another crucial detail.
OP's sister chose to use the name without asking OP — and she knew OP was planning to use Rodrigo as a middle name. But, oh boy, it gets so much worse.
As OP explained, she can't really think of it as a name honoring her husband because her sister and her late husband "didn't even know each other that well and definitely weren't too fond of each other."
Her conclusion is simple: Her sister just likes "to be the center of attention."
It sounds like it's time for OP to move on, in more ways than one.
With her own baby due any day now, OP revealed that she is in therapy and is considering moving out of her parent's house and back into the home she and her late husband shared. Thankfully, her mom is on her side, and is thinking of moving in with OP in the weeks following her birth because it seems pretty darn likely that sister won't exactly be helpful when the second baby with the name Rodrigo arrives.
At least OP can take comfort in the fact that some of the most judgy people online are firmly in her corner, voting her as clearly not the a–hole in this situation!
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
