Black and white Americans have huge cultural differences. That's not divisive rhetoric, as certain presidential candidates would like us to believe. It's simply an uncomfortable, but real ass, truth.
Yet, 50 years into legal integration, Black and white folks are able to form friendships. We can eat at restaurants together. We can attend the same colleges and frat parties. We can sit in the same section at the movie theater.
That doesn't mean, however, that everything is perfect and differences are innately understood. A viral Ask Women Reddit thread, started by user Soupside Gaming, brilliantly highlights what Black women want their white friends to understand about Black womanhood.
This insightful thread covers everything from hair to emotions, and it's a useful guide for those want to befriend Black women. Get into — and adhere to — these tips:
Don't call us angry Black women.
Anger is a legitimate emotion, and should be treated as such. Calling us "angry Black women" feeds into the trope that we're irrational and incapable of controlling our emotions.
There's nothing wrong with saying "Black." Just say it.
We ARE Black. Saying it isn't offensive. The n-word on the other hand? Avoid it at all costs.
Our hair is different, so stop comparing it.
Hi The New York Times, it's us. Curly hair is not the same as nappy hair. Calling your hair nappy is offensive, and completely disregards a whole hair history. Stay in your lane.
Don't stereotype us.
Black women have diverse interests, just as all women do. Please don't assume we have a specific interest because another Black woman does. Let us be individuals.
Sometimes, we feel othered.
Othering is real. It is, literally, what racism is built upon.
Don't attempt to mimic AAVE
African-American Vernacular English (AAVE) is a legitimate language used among Black Americans to have cultural conversations. Some of us speak in AAVE while others don't. Don't make assumptions: If we're not saying "fleek" in a convo, you probably shouldn't either.
We're not "pretty for a Black girl." We're pretty, period.
This is the easiest way to get cut off as a friend. Saying that we're pretty for a Black girl indicates that we're only attractive among other Black women, and that overall, we're less than beautiful. Don't be this person.
Don't use chocolate metaphors to refer to our skin.
We're not food. Enough said.
Everything is not about your feelings.
Your feelings matter — but not when it comes to discussions among Black folks about slights that have happened to us. "Me too" undermines our experiences by making them universal when they're routinely not.
When we say we've experienced racism, believe us.
Don't collude with white supremacy by excusing it. Most Black folks have experienced enough racism to recognize when it's happening. Instead, be an ally. Ask us how to help.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
