What is it about weddings that make people fully lose their minds? We know that weddings are hyped as "the most important day" of someone's life (which is probably not true for a lot of people), but sometimes it is kind of fascinating to see how planning for this one day can turn people into the most selfish and self-centered versions of themselves.
A classic example of this popped up on the AITA thread on Reddit recently. The original poster wanted to vent about the fact that her sister declined her invitation to OP's upcoming wedding. Although OP acknowledged that she and sister have "always had a rocky relationship," she was irritated that Sister wasn't able to "[put] that aside and support me during my biggest day."
Now, it might seem reasonable that OP wants her sister at her wedding, but that's only because we left out the reason her sister doesn't want to attend the wedding: She is a young widow whose husband died 10 days after their wedding and she feels like attending her sister's wedding will be triggering.
While most people would likely have sympathy for someone like her sister, OP isn't buying it.
OP snidely said that "this trauma thing is just an excuse not to come" and that her sister "shouldn't be so traumatized" because the death happened six years ago. Remember, her sister's husband died 10 days after the wedding, which is a horrible thing — except in OP's mind.
But as OP explains, "the weddings aren't the ones responsible for her husband's death, so it's unreasonable of her to still avoid them."
She even argues that sister didn't need to marry "someone that was dying" (the sister's husband died of cancer), but "she did it and now she's just using it as an excuse to not be at my wedding … like she brought it on herself and now I'm the one paying the consequences for it, how is that fair?"
Wow. Such kindness, much sympathy.
No wonder her sister doesn't want to spend a minute more with OP than she has to!
OP, who, remember, thinks she is in the right here, also admitted that she "got my family to try to convince my sister" because the sister has been "playing the 'depression card' so she can get away with her unfair treatment of me."
Yikes! OP is also miffed because her fiancé is on her sister's side and "wants to leave her alone cause it's not worth it to 'bully' anyone to come to our wedding."
The commenters on Reddit were quick to declare that OP is definitely the a–hole in this situation, with one noting, "You don't get to dictate how other people grieve" and another wondering, "The way you talk about her … Why do you care so much that someone you don't seem to even like is not coming to your wedding?"
It seems like OP doesn't really care about her sister, she just wants to win the fight and make sure her needs come first.
Another commenter summed it up perfectly, declaring: "Gods. This is AWFUL. You're AWFUL … You're gaslighting your sister to make her do something she'll be MISERABLE doing and all you seem care about is yourself. How dare you question how a person grieves for their spouse!?? Weddings are hard for folks with romantic trauma. This is bridzilla bs. Stop it. Have some compassion. Everyone's life does not revolve around your wedding."
It seems like OP needs to remember that nobody is obligated to go to anyone's wedding (it's an invitation, not a summons!) and that it isn't all about her, even on her "special day."
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