Ex-Burglars are Sharing Their Secrets To Avoid Being Robbed & It’s Fascinating

Imagine scrolling through Reddit and seeing someone admit to being a burglar. Well, believe it or not, it's happened more than once. There are a few Reddit threads in which self-proclaimed "retired burglars" talk about their former hustles and offer up tips on the best ways to avoid getting robbed. Interestingly, some of them have even answered specific questions asked by fellow Reddit users.

It's absolutely fascinating, kind of hilarious, and obviously quite useful information. Whether it's for your car or your house, these pro tips from former real-life burglars might be just the thing to keep your valuables safe in the event of a robbery — or possibly even keep you from being a target. If you want a good laugh along with some practical advice, look no further.

Fear of Fido

"A dog can be easily tamed usually. Act friendly, give it a few rubs, and they'll happily follow you around. If that doesn't work, after my first run-in with an annoying dog (a small, yappy dog), I started carrying rawhide sticks with me. That stopped them very fast."

Little Dogs for the Win

"If you want a security dog, get a small, loud dog that barks at almost everything. Big dogs may look scary, but considering most people don't like the chance of their dog turning on them, the dogs are either very tame, or chained up. Small dogs, however, bark. A lot. Those were the only ones I was ever worried about."

Window Woes

"The only thing that ever really shut me down were laminated windows. A crook's biggest weapon is speed, and their biggest enemy is time. If somebody were to try to break into your home and ended up hitting a window that was laminated, they would, in almost every case, run off."

Privacy Problems

TIM ALLEN;EARL HINDMAN
ABC Photo Archives/Disney General Entertainment Content via Getty Images

"As for neighbors, I tried to only hit houses with enclosed backyards. That beautiful wood fence you have up? Those lovely tall bushes? That ivy-covered fence? Congrats, you've just ensured that your neighbors will probably never see me."

Alarms Are Irrelevant

"Here's one of the terrifying things: Alarms didn't matter. I would target houses marked with alarms and without equally. When your alarm goes off, the company will generally wait 15-30 seconds before making the call to you to check up on it, in case of false positives where you accidentally tripped the alarm. At that point, if the company immediately alerts the police, the correspondence will take another 15 seconds, and if the police are immediately sent out, you still have about a minute, at worst, to do your thing."

Nix the Key Rack

"Don't use key racks or bowls next to the door! Don't leave any bags or containers in view in your car!" "The amount of stolen cars where the burglar takes one step into the house, picks up the keys to the family car, and leaves immediately is just sad. I've seen cases where the homeowner (carrying groceries) doesn't realize a sneaky individual has followed them, caught the door before it closed, and just picked up the car keys as the owner tosses them into a bowl."

TV Time

"Leave a TV on if you are going out during the day. Better yet, turn on the TV, put in a movie and turn up the volume. A blood'n'guts action movie is a good choice, since those who enjoy that sort of movie tend to be male and, well, more likely to have a gun. So long as a person cannot see that nobody is actually in the room, the flicker of a TV and music or sound are a good way to turn a person off."

Hide Things

"Also, don't leave liquid valuables (cash or jewelry) sitting in the open. There were plenty of times I simply smashed a window, reached in and grabbed $20-30 and ran off. Sad, but true, that a crook is willing to break a $100 window to steal $20."

Lights Out

"Leaving lights on while you are gone is a pretty obvious tactic that many crooks have learned means 'free game.' During the holidays is when crooks start to really case houses. If they see that your house has the exact same lights on two to three days in a row, it is almost a guarantee you aren't home."

Needed: House Sitter

"Don't stop the mail or paper. Have a friend or neighbor come over in the evening and put them inside, and have them switch lights around. A lot of crooks will use papers and mail to judge if a person is home or not over the holidays (and any time of the year), and if they see papers and mail coming and vanishing, especially with different lights changing, the risk of somebody being home is too great."

Time Matters

"Hitting places further apart came from my normal hit times: around 10 a.m. and 2 p.m., during the week, when most people were at work. If I did more than one hit during a single day, which itself was uncommon, I would make the first around 10, and then the second around 2."

Audible Action

"If you're really worried, you can get some loud, audible alarms for the outside of your house that will go off if a window is broken. Something like that would draw quite a bit of attention, just make sure your neighbors have a shut-off available."

Depth of the Deadbolt

"Make sure your door's deadbolts go into a double stud around your doors and are AT LEAST an inch long. That will stop most crooks, but nothing will stop all of them. Also, people sometimes put too much attention on the deadbolt/locks, and not enough on the hinges at the other side of the door. If your door opens out, there's a good chance your hinge pins are on the outside of the door, where they can be removed pretty easily rendering the locks, kick plates, etc. completely useless."

Consider the Crawl Space

"If you have a crawl space under your home, central heat/air-conditioning, and a large intake grill in your floor, make sure it's extremely tough to get into the crawl space and try not to leave anything in front of the entrance that could provide cover for someone trying to cut a lock. Modern duct work can be cut away from the hole with a $0.99 steak knife and older steel duct work can be dislodged with a few good kicks."

Shut Up the Shed

"Even if your house is well-locked, if your shed isn't, I likely have access to a plethora of tools I can use to gain access. Don't help the burglar. Lock your shed."

Know Your Guests

"This is very important to realize. When you have guests over that you don't know well (maybe at a Halloween party), lock all of the doors to bedrooms, and don't have anything super valuable just laying out to show. Most of the time, they won't take anything during the party, but they will come back later … with friends."

Car Safety

"How to avoid being hit? Easy: Don't leave valuables in the car, especially visibly. Cars are not safe places. And those people who have fancy removable front panel or pull-out car stereos, please stop putting it underneath the passenger seat. It is the first place car-hoppers look."

Safe Size

"If you have a small safe that’s not bolted down, we are taking that thing. We all have a 'safe guy.' Our goal is to get in and out pretty quickly. If you hide something in a random box all the way up in your attic, it’s probably safe."

Light It Up

"When I was young and dumb I would boost rims off cars, cause you could make quick money and it was less then a felony. The number one deterrent hands down … lights. If a place is lit up like a Christmas tree on the outside of a house you stay clear cause it means anyone can see you and see you clearly."

Don't Be So Obvious

"Don't leave things out that people can see from outside your home or car. If you buy a new TV or computer, break down the box it came in. Don't just leave it by your garbage bin. Lock doors and windows. Keep your handbag close and closed."

These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.