When it comes to Valentine’s Day, there are a few things we all expect to see: huge bouquets of red roses, heart-shaped boxes of chocolates, candy conversation hearts, teddy bears holding big hearts, over-the-top proposals, intimate bedroom moments, and more. It’s an opportunity to show loved ones how much you care about them, but that doesn’t mean you need to break the bank with expensive gifts or lavish dates.
According to relationship coach Sophie Orozco, connection doesn’t come from grand gestures, as fun as those might be in the moment. She encourages couples, instead, to find meaningful moments with one another and create emotional safety.
Sophie has spent over a decade helping couples strengthen their relationships, using insights from her own marriage. Here are some of her recommendations for low-pressure date ideas:
- Take a walk together: Movement lowers defenses, and one thoughtful question while strolling and conversing, can spark genuine connection without turning it into a heavy conversation.
- Revisit an early memory: Go to a favorite coffee shop or cook a meal you enjoyed in the early days of your relationship — shared memories naturally reignite closeness.
- Spend parallel time together: Read, journal, or relax in the same space. Comfort builds before conversation, especially for couples in a rut.
- Share a short handwritten note: Just a paragraph expressing appreciation. Writing allows vulnerability without the pressure of immediate response.
- Mini dessert or coffee date with one rule — no fixing, no planning: Focus on curiosity, humor, and lightness, not problem-solving.
We spoke directly with Sophie to find out more about how busy parents can connect on Valentine’s Day.
How can parents connect when they have young kids at home (and no babysitter):
As a mom of 4, I know this well. Honestly? I think what stops people from connecting is they feel like it has to be a big gesture rather than a small, intentional moment. Connection doesn’t have to be candles, rose petals, and deep talks. Sometimes it’s sitting on the couch after the kids finally fall asleep. Legs touching, scrolling less, just being together. Or, making eye contact while washing dishes and saying, “Today was hectic. Thanks for being in it with me.” You connect in the cracks of the day. Even in front of the kids, it’s great to model healthy love for your children. A 10-second hug in the kitchen, a smack on the butt when the kids aren’t looking, or laughing over something ridiculous your toddler did. It’s remembering you’re on the same team even when you’re in the messy season of parenting.
How can parents make the most of a few hours (if they do have a babysitter)?
The golden rule is don’t spend the whole time talking about the kids! Give yourselves permission to exhale. That might mean a quiet lunch where no one needs anything from you, or a walk where you talk about dreams, not logistics. Connection doesn’t always mean “deep.” Your relationship is meant to include playfulness.
How can parents include kids in Valentine’s Day activities?
Let your kids see how much you love your spouse and let them be part of you making your spouse feel special. Let them help make cards. Let them see you hug, kiss, laugh together. Cook a special meal as a family. Talk about love as something that lives in your home, not just something grown-ups do behind closed doors. When kids see love modeled, the kindness, affection and teamwork, they learn what healthy connection looks like and model this every day, not just on Valentine’s Day.
Whatever your Valentine’s Day has in store this year, remember that love is more than just what you do or how you feel on one day.
