Like most women on the planet, I menstruate every month. I get cramps typically on the third day of my period. So on the morning of that day, I’ll take an Advil in anticipation of the pain.
One time, I was busy packing the kids’ water and snacks for our walk that I forgot. As my husband was locking the door, I remembered but I thought the pain would be bearable enough that I wouldn’t need it.
When we started walking, I felt a bit of cramping but I breathed through it, foolishly thinking it would go away. I was delusional to believe my body had miraculously changed in the past 20 years of getting periods.
Only 30 minutes into the walk, I began to see stars.
The pain was so debilitating I could barely move. I laid down on the next bench I saw and curled up into a fetal position. I closed my eyes and started taking heavy breaths. I felt like I was about to go into labor for the third time in my life.
My helpless husband parked the stroller with my son in it and my daughter sat beside me with a deeply concerned expression on her face. We were all still as the little daggers clawed their way through my uterus.
My son was beginning to get fussy.
He’s not a fan of stopping during our walks. Then he started to whine, gripping the straps with his tiny white knuckles. So my husband took him out, but he wasn’t having it. His whining has turned into a full-blown tantrum where he was screaming until his face was purple.
So my husband asked me what I wanted him to do. I told him that the pain usually subsides after laying down for 10 to 15 minutes, so I suggested he head back while I stay there. He asked my daughter what she wanted to do and she said she wanted to be with me.
For the next 10 minutes, my 4-year old daughter waited patiently beside me, not saying anything, not moving, no complaints, no requests, just silence.
The cramps were getting less intense and I was beginning to feel better. I slowly got up and told my daughter that we could start walking back.
Very slowly, we walked. Every few minutes, I would stop and sit on a rock to rest while she stood beside me. It took us 45 minutes to get home. I was feeling almost back to my normal self. I was able to talk and have a conversation without wincing.
My daughter sat down beside me and started asking questions.
She already knew what periods were and that women get them on a monthly basis. But she wasn’t aware of the pain that happens.
This brought me back to my adolescence when my mom wouldn’t let me take painkillers for my cramps because she said it was unnatural, and instead encouraged me to use home remedies like a heating pad or hot baths. All throughout high school, I thought going through the pain made me stronger.
And it wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized taking Advil was a safe and effective way for me to ease cramps.
She was curious and asked, "Do periods have to be painful?"
I said, “Cramping is normal. Some women don’t get them and some women experience it worse than others depending on how their bodies are. For me, I need to take medicine to help with the pain but I forgot today.”
She takes about a minute to think about what I said. Then she responds, “I don’t want you to be in pain, mommy. I can help you remember.”
I said, “Thank you sweetie that is very thoughtful.”
She grins, “Of course mommy! Because you help me remember many things. I can help you remember one thing.”
And at that moment, I told myself, “I just helped break a generational cycle. I think I’m doing an OK job as a mom in raising a good little human.”
