My Ex Had Five Kids With Four Men & Wants Me To Be Father Figure to All of Them — No Way

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Breakups when children are involved can be messy. But if two adults can look past their differences for the greater good of the children, everyone can live happy lives. When the adults move on to new relationships and add more children to the mix, it can complicate things, but if boundaries are established and respected, it doesn't have to be a big deal.

A man and his ex share two sons and both play an active role in their lives. They were together when they were young but ended up separated because of infidelity. The man takes care of his kids, and the woman has added more to her family with three other men. Now, she wants him to start taking care of her other children because they need a "father." He's not interested in taking on that role, and she thinks he's selfish.

The woman cheated on the guy.

AITA for refusing to bring my ex's other children along on days out with our two sons?
byu/Nearby_Storage4795 inAmItheAsshole

The dad dished the dirt in Reddit's AITA forum. His ex cheated on him after they had two sons. The boys are now 11 and 10 years old and have grown up with both parents sharing responsibilities. The ex had another son and a daughter with other men, but those relationships didn't stick. Now, she wants OP to step in.

"I continued being a dad to my sons only. I didn't interact with her other two children but I would see them from a distance during exchanges. She asked me to adopt both her additional children stating they needed a father. I told her to go and find their fathers then," he wrote.

Things are getting pretty ugly.

Now OP's ex is remarried with a third child with a man who also doesn't seem to want to care for her other two kids. She is still putting the heat on OP, who isn't budging. She's trying to make him feel guilty for only taking responsibility for their sons, which he thinks is totally unfair. One of her kids had a birthday recently, and she expected OP to take care of the kid who wasn't his.

"So when she heard our boys and I had visited an amusement park around his birthday, she blew a fuse and asked me how I can be such an a–hole to children. She told me I should be doing better as a father," he wrote. Who is in the wrong?

These are not his children.

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Redditors were quick to remind OP that he didn't create these children, and he only has to care for those who belong to him.

Someone wrote: "Nta, you don't owe her anything, and you are not being an AH to your kids. They're not your responsibility. It's not like you are rubbing things in her kids' faces. But maybe encourage your sons not to tell their siblings much, which obviously doesn't help with the mother interrogating them."

This person agreed commenting: "NTA. That is such an odd ask. Even if you were crazy enough to agree, why on earth would her current husband be okay with you playing a bigger role in his kid's life? She needs to focus on rehabbing the husband she's got, not harassing the one she lost. Next time she asks, give her a brochure on birth control and a copy of your custody schedule that names only 2 kids."

This wasn't OP's fault.

It takes two to tango, and OP's ex got herself involved with several men, and it seems OP is the only one who is taking care of his responsibilities.

One person suggested she go after the other kids' dads. "NTA tell your ex that instead of spending time pleading with you to take care of the other kids, she should be spending it on getting all the deadbeat dads to pay child support, then She would have the money to do these things with her kids," they wrote.

"NTA She is blaming you for the consequences of her choices," another person agreed. "You are under no obligation to father 3 children spawned from betrayal, and her hubris at demanding you do is glaring. Do not pay any attention to these comments of hers, and keep being an excellent father to YOUR children."

OP's kids are lucky to have him.

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Redditors agreed that the man is fulfilling his obligation to his sons and owes nothing else to his ex. She got herself into this mess, and they say she has to find her way out.

This person suggested OP takes things one step further: "Your ex is delusional af. At this point, you might as well go for full custody and try to minimize dealing with her. She will only get worse as her other children get older. Don't be surprised if she starts lying to her other children and telling them that you are their father."