Being a good neighbor is important for a lot of people. It’s why we drop off cookies when new people move in, it’s why we shovel others’ driveways, and it’s why we lend our tools to neighbors in need. Recently, an individual on Reddit shared a story about how being a good neighbor backfired … well, kind of. After four years of receiving meals from a kind elderly neighbor and pretending to enjoy them, the deliveries suddenly stopped.
Even though the food was never good, the Reddit user realized they missed the connection, so they turned to the Internet for advice.
Four years ago my neighbor (70s, very sweet) started bringing me food every Sunday because “you’re too skinny to live alone.” Her cooking was… uh… aggressively experimental. Paper-dry meat, mysterious spice combos, soups that tasted like wet socks.
One night her husband pulled me aside outside and said:
“Thank you for pretending to like her food. She lost her sense of purpose after retirement. Cooking keeps her alive.”
So I doubled down. I hyped every dish like it was Michelin-level. She would beam every time. It became this whole ritual, she’d hand me a plastic container, I’d compliment her seasoning, she’d blush and wave me off.
Fast forward to last month. Her husband had a mild stroke. They changed his diet, and she’s too overwhelmed to cook. The meals stopped.
And I realized something: I actually miss them. Not the food, hell no, but the weird warmth of it. It felt like someone was caring about me in their own clumsy way.
I want to check in on her, but I feel like if I ask for food again it’ll come off insulting, and if I don’t, I’ll seem ungrateful.
I pretended to hate my neighbor’s cooking for 4 years… because her husband confided in me that it was the only joy she had.
byu/Strong_Shape8973 inconfessions
We all need a village.
People say it takes a village to raise a child, but the truth is we all need a village. We need friends and neighbors who care about us, check in on us, and make sure we’re taking care of ourselves. After reading the Reddit post, commenters all had one thing to say: It’s your turn to step up.
The torch has been passed.
Being a good neighbor goes two ways, so it’s time for the tables to turn. “YOU GOTTA MAKE HER THE FOOD NOW! Torch has been passed,” wrote a commenter known as jbooosh.
Living-Estimate9810 echoed that sentiment, writing, “Everybody gets a turn, baby. Now it’s your turn.”
It’s time to get cooking.
“You could also cook something and bring it to her odds are shes not taking the best care of herself in the moment if shes caring for her husband,” mrs-jmg suggested. “You can return the favor and get that connection you’ve been missing.”
Repay the warmth.
A number of commenters pointed out that the elderly neighbors are probably missing the connection, too. Stuck_In_Purgatory wrote:
Now you can cook for her!!! They don’t need Michelin star level (in anyone’s mind) food, they need sustenance and a meal.
You can see better than many people in their lives where they’re at. You basically gave this woman extra purpose before because she had joy in cooking for you.
She’s lost her joy and her certainty. Perhaps you can repay that warmth by offering your own meal dropped off in a container.
At the end of it all it has less to do with the taste than the care and comfort, like you said. This is your chance to give your own version of the love and comfort you so far received from them/her.
She’s gifted her time and love to you, perhaps you can find some to gift back 💖
