By now everyone knows the fashion world is crazy. Full-body flower crowns! Movable spider dresses! Literal Hannibal Lecter masks!
But in between all the over-the-top dresses and stylish bags is insanity. Some of the products high-end designers slap their names — and insanely expensive price tags — on are bizarre, inane, or just plain weird.
Here are 16 ridiculous designer-branded products that are just too absurd — and expensive — for life.
A $185 Prada paper clip.
Are your papers being held together with non-designer clips? HOW DARE YOU. Now there's a luxury option for all your document-holding needs! Thanks, Prada! ($185, Barneys)
A $1,725 Chanel boomerang.
Jeffree Star got his ass handed to him when he showed off this culturally appropriative Chanel boomerang. Chanel apologized for the offense the product caused, and you can't currently purchase it online.
A $2,000 Ikea bag.
Balenciaga, now headed up by Vetements head designer Demna Gvasalia, has really taken fashion trolling to another level. Proof: This leather IKEA tote knockoff is over two grand, and still somehow sells out the minute it's available. How are you. How dare ALL of you. ($2,145, Barneys)
A $500 Supreme Metrocard.
Hypebeasts are intense. There were fights in NYC when Supreme released a limited run of MTA Metrocards. Dispensed at random, these cards were $11 at certain vending machines; they're now $500 on eBay.
A $133,800 Hermes leather horse nightmare.
A $150 Tiffany bubble wand.
A $40 Supreme brick.
Why? How? Who knows. This actual clay brick is $40 plus shipping — currently reselling for $1000 on eBay.
A $3,000 Balenciaga comforter bag.
"Plastic bag your comforter came in, but make it fashion." Balenciaga does it again. ($2,202 at Net-A-Porter marked down from $3,670)
A $175 Chanel football.
If you have $175 and the means to get to a Chanel boutique, and you STILL decide to buy a football like this, you officially have too much money. Venmo me instead.
Christopher Kane zip ties, $30.
I didn't realize fashionable kidnappers were a niche that needed pursuing, but here we are. And if you've become so numb to the insane prices of things to the point where $30 doesn't seem crazy, you can buy a 100-pack of plain plastic zip ties for $9.
Louis Vuitton Band-aids, ???
Shown during one of LV's more well-received recent shows, these leather "LV" monogrammed leather Band-aids may soon become a thing — no word on if (or when) Louis Vuitton will make these bandages available to the masses, though.
A $1,500 Fornasetti garbage can.
I love Fornasetti. Truly I do. But a $1500 trash can? For actual garbage? That's pushing it. ($1,450, Barneys)
A pair of $85 Vetements striped socks.
I mean, sure. Slap a designer brand on white cotton socks and watch the price soar. Vetements must be stopped. ($85, Ssense)
A $30 Marc Jacobs hairtie.
This is an elastic band with a rock tied onto it. It costs $30 because Marc Jacobs thought of it.
Meanwhile, you can buy a 30-pack of Scunci's no damage elastics, which are THE BEST, for under $6.
A $2,400 Chanel shaved-fur pillow.
I know Chanel is overrepresented on this list — the brand just makes so many absurd things! This pillow is made of orylag fur (which I had to look up, and turns out to be fancy rabbit). $2,400 for a soft cube to nap on. Sure.
An $85 Nordstrom rock.
The best part? These rocks actually sold out. Joke's on us, picking up our non-luxury rocks on the side of the road like plebs.
