New parents know there is a big adjustment period when a new baby is brought into the world. Sleep becomes a thing of the past, laundry is never-ending, and feedings are a whole other story. One aspect that isn’t talked about frequently is where parents can enjoy some adult fun after getting the all clear from the doctor. How do you have sex with a new baby? More specifically, where do you have sex when you have an infant? It can be especially challenging if the baby is sleeping in the same room.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, “Infants should sleep in the parentsâ room, close to the parentsâ bed but on a separate surface designed for infants, ideally for at least the first six months.” So how can parents follow the guidelines and still prioritize intimacy?
One parent found themselves in this exact predicament and took to Reddit to ask for advice. Fellow parents gave a wide range of advice. Basically, it all comes down to individual comfort level.
The parent turned to other parents for some advice.
This parent posted their inquiry on the Reddit forum titled “new parents.” They shared they have a 3-month-old daughter who was born prematurely. The proud new couple was just able to bring her home a couple of days ago and is already thinking ahead. The new bundle of joy is currently sleeping in a bassinet in her parent’s bedroom. They asked for advice on what to do when it’s time for intimacy.
This post got a lot of attention. People even got a little heated while debating this subject â in fact, a moderator had to lock it and prevent future comments.
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Parents had lots of suggestions:
Many fellow Redditors confessed to having sex in the same room as the baby. The majority did this when the little one was asleep. The bedroom is the classic choice for getting it on.
“We would just do it in the room as long as the baby was asleep,” one person shared.
Another commenter shared what they do to make it work. “She doesnât wake up typically but if she does, nothing really stops unless she starts getting upset,” the person explained. “I live with family so going to another room is not an option – we make it work and take it day by day lol.”
Commenters who had sex in the same room as the baby all suggested a more silent experience.
“When she was very small we were just quiet,” one person confessed.
“Iâm of the belief that it can be done semi-quietly so my kid never woke,” another commenter added.
“Just try not to be loud when theyâre asleep. They donât know anything at that age. Donât over think it, itâs ok,” another Redditor advised.
Many of the parents who had sex in the same room as their child had a secret weapon: a sound machine.
“A white noise machine lol,” one commenter shared. “My daughters mini crib was in the corner of our room, and we used a white noise machine every night.”
Many parents swear by it (and not just for sexy time).
Some people took issue with the idea of 'getting busy' in the same place as the baby.
They couldn’t believe that anyone would have sex while their baby was in the same room.
“I could never do it with my kid in the same room, even when she was a newborn. The thought gives me the ick,” one parent shared.
“I think we had sex like one time when baby was asleep and it honestly wasnât weird for us but gave us massive anxiety that she was going to wake up wailing so yeah no after that lol,” another person confessed.
One parent clapped back. “Sex is a completely fine thing to have around the kid. Don’t mystify it in a cloak of darkness, and remember that you don’t have memories until age three anyway,” the person argued.
Other options also were presented:
Some parents moved the party outside of the bedroom. They had sex in the living room while the baby was sleeping.
“We got intimate in the living room while my LO was in our room,” one commenter revealed.
“Leave her in the bassinet and go have fun time on the couch. Take the baby monitor with you if she crys/wakes up. Works every single time. Then I go to bed like a baby,” another person advised.
Being a parent requires commitment and creativity. So does having sex in a bathroom. One user suggested it as an alternative location, but others were quick to point out its flaws.
“Yes pick the smallest room in the house with the hardest coldest surfaces,” one person joked. But hey â it works in a pinch.
Many parents divulged they did it in the guest room. (Let’s just hope they changed the sheets when the grandparents came to visit!)
Obviously, this isn’t a viable option for people who live with family or who don’t have a guest room. If you are lucky enough to have one, don’t be afraid to use it.
Be creative!
When all else fails, don’t be afraid to get creative. It will spice up your sex life as well. It might even make you feel like a hormonal teenager all over again, which is kind of fun and nostalgic.
“We co-sleep,” one parent shared. “Once baby is sleep we put the baby monitor on and go into the guest room, kitchen, living room, roof deck, basically wherever we trying to smash. Our baby is 8 months old. I don’t think we’ve smashed in our own bed since the little guy was born.”
Another person made a spicy confession. They did it “doggy everywhere but the babies roomđđ.”
Another parent said they had sex “on the office floor on the other side of the house.”
At the end of the day, whatever works for you is the way to go.
