Parenting small children is exhausting, particularly for moms. They always want us and need us for something. It doesn't matter if another adult is standing right next to us; mom knows how to do it all better, right?
We adore our children, and they are only little for so long, so we try to suck it up and enjoy every moment. But being the best mom we can be sometimes means we make sacrifices in other areas.
Unfortunately for our partners, one of the big things that a lot of moms put on the back burner is sex. It's not that we don't enjoy it or love our partners, but we're tired and, quite frankly, get a little touched out. And let's be honest: Sex is how a lot of us got ourselves into this situation to begin with, and the safest way to prevent any more babies is to not try and make one.
TikTok mom Madison Barbosa, aka @madison_barbosa, is a busy mom with little kids who doesn't always feel like getting busy. She posted a hilarious video that has so many moms saying, "Same, girl. Same!"
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Barbosa saw a video that shocked her.
She was scrolling through her feed when a video popped up asking how many times a week people had sex. These weren't college students; we're talking parents of little kids. Women are having a lot of sex.
She asked, "Are you guys doing the hanky panky like multiple times a week?"
According to the other video, moms were having sex four to five times a week, and Barbosa couldn't believe it.
'With what energy?' she wants to know.
Barbosa doesn't get it and says that being a parent to small kids is so hard. At the end of the day, she is exhausted and totally touched out.
Her husband's love language is touch, but she just can't do it at this point in her life. She loves him and is attracted to him, but she also feels so much "wife guilt" because she doesn't believe she's fulfilling his needs.
Plenty of moms agreed with the TikToker.
Barbosa isn't alone. There are a lot of moms whose sex drive took a nosedive after having kids.
Like this mom who wrote, "Having kids has k!lled my libido I needed it every day before kids and now like maybe 2 times a month i wanna fix that but idk how."
"Definitely 1-2x a week and often that's just to check it off my list so I can stop feeling wife guilt," someone else commented. "I feel like I have no libido anymore."
But there are some very active people.
Like this woman who wrote, "Married 23 yrs, 3 kids – all adults now – 5-7 times a week, even when they were little. Priorities."
Another parent clapped back at the comment with, "My priority is to stay alive, lol."
Other moms just listen to their bodies.
This mom is all about hormonal changes commenting, "3 times for one week and then not again until the next month."
At least one other person could relate, writing, "Lmao same, ovulation week is wild and then it's like k see ya next month hahaha."
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All that matters is that we stay connected.
The frequency of sex isn't as important as knowing you and your partner still love one another and that when the kids get older, life will hopefully get back on track.
This person put it nicely, commenting, "Some weeks twice. Some weeks 0 times. There are so many more forms of intimacy than doing the deed. Cuddling, cooking together, holding hands, back rubs, etc. we're connected no matter what."
