Wearing white to a wedding when you're not the bride has to be one of the most cringe-worthy faux pas in the book. Luckily, though, it's a sin rarely committed, since most wedding guests are well aware of the etiquette. That said, what if the bride actually wanted some people to wear white on the big day? And then, after she made the request, suddenly took it back?
That's exactly what one woman claims happened before her sister's recent wedding, and she's taken to Reddit to vent her frustrations over the whole debacle.
According to the woman's post, the wedding took place on October 4.
The unnamed poster says the wedding in question was for her big sister, who painstakingly planned the party for months before it finally happened. But it wasn't until about four months before the big day that her sister actually made a decision about who was in the bridal party.
"She let us know her maid of honor, bridesmaids, and all other things to do with guest roles etc.," the poster shared, adding that she was named one of the bridesmaids.
"My sister didn’t want to buy all of the bridesmaids dresses as she wanted us to contrast and feel comfortable in our dresses," the poster continued, "but one thing she let us know was that the bridesmaids were to wear WHITE dresses."
To most Americans, this might sound pretty out there.
After all, it only takes a quick Google search to figure out that wearing white to a wedding "should be avoided at all costs."
But it appears that the poster is from the UK, where the whole "no white dresses" rule isn't quite so firm. (Remember when Pippa Middleton wore white to William and Kate's royal wedding?) So, when the poster was informed of her sister's wishes, she didn't bat an eyelash.
"A few weeks later, I went bridesmaid dress shopping," she recalled in her post. "I really care about my sister, so I put a lot of thought and time into choosing my dress hoping it would be okay for her wedding."
Eventually, she landed on the *perfect* dress.
Or at least, she thought it was.
"I found this beautiful lace corset, long white dress," the woman recalled. "This dress was EXPENSIVE, around £1,500 [$1,811 USD], and the boutique had a no return policy unless the dress was broken or ripped."
In other words, once she bought it, that was it.
"So, I decided to be the smart person and have my sister come round to the boutique to see me in the dress the next day," the poster explained.
To her delight, her sister was 'overjoyed' when she saw the dress.
"She exclaimed she LOVED the dress and it was perfect for her wedding," the poster wrote. "She insisted that I should buy it. So, I bought it for £1,500. I was the first bridesmaid to get their dress. All of my sisters friends seemed almost a little too laid back."
Thinking she was all set, the poster moved on to other things as the wedding approached. But then — just days before the wedding — she was suddenly blindsided.
"A week before the wedding comes, I wake up to texts and calls from my sister, friends, and family," the woman shared. "Most of the ones from friends and family were letting me know my sister 'had to talk.'"
So, the poster opened the text thread with her sister, and saw a new message.
"Change of plans," her sister wrote. "I do not want bridesmaids wearing white." White is for the bride and all the other bridesmaids are now wearing teal. Please buy another dress, Thanks xx."
A lot of emotions suddenly came over her.
"My heart literally sank," the bridesmaid recalled. "I did not have enough money to buy another dress after the money I spent on that [first] dress."
Time was also not on her side, since the wedding was just days away. So instead, she decided to be up-front.
"I let my sister and family know this and attended the wedding [in my white bridesmaids dress], but everyone was giving me dirty looks and stares, especially the groom," she shared.
Now, she says her sister is 'infuriated.'
And what's more, her entire family is ignoring her, which has put her in an awful position. But was she really in the wrong, considering the dress she wore to the wedding was one that her sister asked for — and even approved of — in the first place? Redditors are not so sure.
In the comments, plenty of people sprung to the poster's defense.
"NTA [Not the A–hole]!" one user declared. "The entire 'only the bride wears white' goes out the window when the bride explicitly states that you should buy the white dress for her wedding."
That aside, they declared that the poster's sister "sucks."
"£1,500 is a lot of money," the commenter added. "If she wants you to wear a teal dress, that's fine, as long as she reimburses you for the white one."
"Especially because OP's sister KNEW up front what the dress looked like, how expensive it was, and non-refundable to boot," another person wrote. "Personally, I doubt I would have even attended the wedding if she changed her mind after the fact like that."
Others couldn't get over the timeline of events.
"All of this, but also one week before the wedding?!" one person asked. "NTA, but sister, groom, and family all are."
In fact, a lot of people felt like things just weren't adding up, and had some theories of their own.
"It's obvious that OP was set up, plain and simple," one person wrote. "The wedding party was always going to be wearing teal and everyone but OP already knew it; that's why all of the others were so laid back about buying a white dress."
"Your sister was setting you up to fail here," added someone else. "She watched you drop £1,500 on a dress after okaying it and seeing it on. I think she didn't want you in her wedding party? Maybe you looked too good in the dress? Maybe she was jealous of said dress? Who knows, but she did you dirty here. I'd rather not speak to people who think that this is acceptable."
It's hard to say for sure whether this was the case, since the original poster never came back to the thread to give an update. But either way, she definitely was treated dirty, and that's a tough thing to get over.
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