I haven’t met them in person yet, but they’ve changed my life. We’ve had so many conversations in our DM’s that have impacted my parenting and my life. I can think back to that time some of them helped me figure out what I could do to teach my son about his letters, and about those times when we discussed the need for talking to our daycare providers about celebrating Black History Month. I didn’t realize how much I looked forward to those messages.
And no, I’m not talking about in-person mom friends I get to see all the time — I’m talking about my social media mom tribe.
After having my first son, I didn’t feel great leaving the house, but I needed to talk with someone! There are topics that our spouses and partners just cannot relate to, and the moms with older children who are past the baby stage weren’t always helpful, either.
It was becoming too hard to find other moms in the same stage as me
If we find that we have things in common, I may slide into their DMs
Moms are hesitant to reach out to other moms. This could be due to past rejection, fear of seeming over the top, or thinking we don’t have enough time to devote to a new relationship.
Finally, I stay in touch. Whenever I think about a funny meme or find that we start to have an inside joke, I send a message to that new friend, letting them know I’m thinking about her and thought she’d like to see this post or that message. When people know that you care about them and are mutually interested in friendship, they know that it is safe to engage back. That’s where a friendship develops.
If a mom doesn’t respond or engage back, I move on to the next person. No harm, no foul. It is just social media after all, but it can become so much more when we use it responsibly and show our true selves. And for these connections in the often hard and lonely years of motherhood, I’ll always be grateful.
