What to Know
If boomers can’t handle younger generations and their quirks, they should probably take a look at themselves. A therapist on TikTok by the name of Mary Beth shared a video where even she is at a loss with some of the behavior that boomers, or people born between 1946 and 1964, tend to show. She says that one thing she is constantly confused by is a boomer parent’s inability to share information at the right time.
We’ve all gotten some variation of the news of Aunt Cheryl’s death through a Facebook comment, so you probably know exactly what Mary Beth is talking about. According to her, it is eternally mind-boggling why boomers tend to withhold information and then spill it at the most casual or inopportune times. Like, oh I don’t know, when you are walking out the door, or when you desperately need to get off the phone. Then, boom, they spill all kinds of tea that gives you mental whiplash. It’s a whole thing.
Boomer parents might have a hard time seeing their children as adults.
If an actual therapist is baffled by this kind of boomer behavior, then we are all probably doomed.
@yourjourneythrough Respectfully, why? If this hits home and you want to talk it through, message us the word “contact” to chat or book a session. 💌 #raleigh #boomerparents #parenting #raleighmoms #familydynamics ♬ original sound – yourjourneythrough
Mary Beth says in her video that she just wants to better understand why so many boomer parents, who are at this point the elderly generation, seem to share this quality. Is it how they were raised? Is it something they developed as a generation at some point in adulthood?
“I would like to understand the rationale behind this,” Mary Beth says in her TikTok. “Because, I understand protecting your children from information that may not be developmentally appropriate when it comes to illness with family members, whatever. But these are adult children now. These are adults.”
She says that it’s up to adult children to make decisions about how they will react or act in response to something a boomer parent tells them. That’s great and all, but she also doesn’t have a surefire explanation for the why of it all. Luckily, people with boomer parents on TikTok believe they know what causes boomer parents to withhold, and then let out word vomit when you least expect it.
“They will give you every health update of the neighbor down the street that you don’t even know but won’t tell you when they have cancer,” one user commented. “Then they make you feel bad that you didn’t know because you don’t come around enough.”
Another adult child of a boomer parent (should there be a support group at this point?) wrote that her parents also do this. However, she believes it’s about protecting her as the adult child.
“Yep. My boomer parents do this,” she wrote. “It’s very upsetting. I’m 42 years old! I work in healthcare. They tell me it’s because they don’t want me to worry.”
Other users believe it’s a technique meant to guilt adult children who they still see as children, or avoid emotions altogether.
“They still see their ADULT children as CHILDREN,” someone commented on the video. “They are also a generation where you simply didn’t discuss health information unless necessary and they don’t know the line.”
Another added, “They never stop thinking of us as kids, so they treat us like kids who need to be kept out of messy medical drama. Which is especially weird for boomer parents of gen x kids, since they adultified us into raising ourselves and our siblings.”
A fellow therapist added that she thinks some boomer parents just prefer to avoid being vulnerable in front of their adult children as long as they can before they absolutely have to be vulnerable.
She wrote, “It’s meant as a gift of ignorance they can give that they wish they could give themselves, which is based in avoidance as a coping skill.”
