A lot of work goes into choosing a name for a brand-new baby. We think about it endlessly, going over every potential option, narrowing down the list, and searching for sources of inspiration. Some names are continued on from past generations, a nod to history and someone special in our lives. Naming a baby after a family member happens a lot. Still, for one new mom, it sparked a big family issue.
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A new mom took to Reddit to get some advice on a family disagreement.
Posting to Reddit's AITA community, the original poster shared some history on the family members' dynamics in her life. "My mom had me pretty late in life, so i really didn't grow up with my siblings," she explained. And it sounds like her childhood was different than her siblings' as well.
"I guess she wasn't a good mom the first time around, very neurotic and controlling, and she wanted a do over baby."
The woman explained that she's heard some stories about her mom, but her experience was different.
"I mean i've heard some horror stories about her, and she can be kind of a narc in general," she wrote. But, for her, the experience was different. She's close with her mom and that's been her reality.
"I love my mom," she wrote. And she wanted to highlight that bond when it came to welcoming her own daughter in the world.
She explained, "I had a baby girl six months ago and named her Kalia, in honor of my mom, Lia."
It's a beautiful tribute to her love for her mom, but not everyone felt that way.
"My older siblings were p—-d," OP wrote in the Reddit post. "My brother kept making comments about that poor baby, and why didn't i just name her Jezebel. His wife was annoyed about how she is automatically going to be the favorite, and my sister took it the worst."
"She got very mad at me, saying my mom doesn't deserve that and it isn't fair," OP wrote.
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OP said that even though things are weird within the family due to their mom, they're kind to one another.
"Despite the weird dynamic with our mom, we do get along for the most part," she wrote. "They are always nice to Kalia, but they call her K or baby."
And OP doesn't like that. "I really don't like K and I want her called Kalia. I brought it up nicely and my brother said he can't say the word Lia without wanting to gag, and my sister said it makes her mad every time she says it. I said i'm sorry, but it is her name."
She explained that her siblings continue to call her baby K, and her mom noticed. "It hurts her," she shared. "But most importantly it isn't her name."
"Kalia is her own person and has nothing to do with whatever my mom did years ago. I finally told them if they can't call her by her name, they can't be around her, so i won't be inviting them to my house or letting them have much of an aunt/uncle [role]," she wrote.
"My brother said ok, but my sister got mad and said I'm being insensitive."
She then asked the Reddit community if she's in the wrong for banning her siblings.
She is, one Redditor concluded. "It is pretty clear your mom was abusive to them, and you are forcing them to say the name of their abuser," the person wrote. "Pick a nickname you don't hate, and have a little sympathy for their very different experience."
Another person agreed, writing, "Look at the little golden child. Lucky you not being abused. To be honest I don't know why your siblings bother with you or your mother you' honour' so much."
"YTA," someone else wrote. "Your siblings dont have a 'weird dynamic' with your mom she ABUSED them. She's their abuser. You keep acting like a person who sounds like she made their childhood he'll, is someone they should be treating better. Idk why you think she deserves their forgiveness."
"Im sorry to everyone else but NTA," wrote another Redditor. "She named her baby after her mom who is important to her. Not even the exact name, just similar. OP said very clearly that her siblings choose to still maintain a relationship with their mom and if they can do that but can't even say her baby's proper name that has PART of the moms name in it, that doesn't click for me."
Hopefully this family is able to work it out – but K is a cute nickname, btw.
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
