When we finally settle on a baby name, we tend to be protective of it. It’s not always easy to agree on one, and when we reach that point, it can be calming. Some parents are thrilled to share the baby name with their friends and family the second they’ve solidified their choice. Others wait until the baby has arrived to narrow down and ultimately land on a solid decision. The last thing parents want is others injecting their unasked opinions on the name – and sometimes being quiet about it until it's official is easier.
But one mom (OP) is choosing to keep her baby name a secret from her family — specifically her sister-in-law — because she has a history of doing something super uncool with baby names.
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OP needed advice, so she took to Reddit to share the issue and why she’s hesitating on sharing information.
Posting to Reddit’s AITA community, OP gave some quick details. “My husband has two sisters. Jane is older and Emma is younger,” she wrote.
“He and I are expecting our second baby and we already have his name decided,” she explained. “Jane knows this because she saw my husband pick up the custom name sticker we got for the nursery.”
Now that Jane knows they have a name chosen, she “is dying to know the name. She asked my husband and he told her we'd reveal all when baby is here.”
OP said her SIL then tried to get her to tell her the name. “She came to me then and asked me and I said no to giving her the name.”
OP had good reason to be protective of the baby name she chose.
“The reason? When Emma had her son she used the name Emma had mentioned when she was six months pregnant,” OP shared.
“Jane was also pregnant, a couple of months ahead of Emma and when Jane's son was born she used the name Emma had chosen,” she explained.
She used the whole entire name – not a variation. The same name.
“Same first and middle name and also last,” OP shared. “Emma ended up changing her son’s name and it really upset her.”
When OP was pregnant with her first baby, she held that name tight too.
“When my husband and I had our daughter Jane went nuts over her name,” she explained. “She told us we had amazing taste and ‘joked’ that she wished she had a girl to use it on.”
OP shared that her husband “told her that wouldn't work anymore since we already had a child with the name.” And her SIL just “rolled her eyes at his response.”
Now both OP and Jane are pregnant – and Jane is due before OP. “I suspect she would use our sons name if we told her now.”
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OP said her SIL doesn’t get why she’s being secretive about the name.
“She thinks I'm being too uptight and should share the name since it's not a big deal and can give her the chance to get something extra special for our son,” OP explained. But she was not buying it – not even for a second.
“I told her she doesn't need to get him anything but anything she does want to buy can be purchased when he's here,” she explained. “She is really mad.”
OP turned it over to Reddit users next, hoping they’d weigh in on if she’s wrong for not sharing the baby name.
“Troll her, and tell her a false name,” one Redditor wrote. “’OK, OK, but keep it a secret. Aloysius Bertrand Smith.’”
“The fact she stole her sister’s child name is WILD, I would not tell her either,” someone else warned. “Sounds like she may be digging for another name to steal.”
“Jane obviously has some weird desire to one-up her siblings when it comes to their kids,” another commenter pointed out. “If she keeps asking, I would give her some absurd alternatives.”
“If Jane is pregnant why doesn’t she tell you the name of her unborn baby,” questioned someone else.
“You’re being nice about it,” wrote another person. “I’d just tell her that her past decisions are working against her on this one, and you aren’t putting up with her shenanigans.”
No one owns a baby name, but what OP says Jane did to her sister is one example of why it sometimes is best to keep the name to yourself until the baby arrives.
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