Woman Refuses To Accept Sister’s Engagement With BIL Who Was Married to Their Late Sister

Grieving is never easy or straightforward. It’s hard for kids and adults to sit with the uncomfortable and very heavy emotions that come when someone we love is no longer with us. Sometimes that can tear families apart. Other times it brings people closer together. But either way, there can be curveballs – and that’s what one family is dealing with after the death of a beloved sister.

The family of the sister who died has been through the wringer, and a new twist in the story has divided them. The late sister, whose name was Kelly, was only 30 years old when she died, but she was married and had twin boys. One of Kelly’s sisters (OP) has taken to Reddit to explain what’s happened in the time since her death.

More from CafeMom: Newly Engaged Woman Refuses To Take Off Ring From Dead Fiancé & Her New Man Has Had Enough

OP thinks the situation has taken a completely uncomfortable turn.

Posting to Reddit’s AITA community, she gave a rundown on the people involved in the situation. “I (27) am the middle daughter in our family. I have 2 sisters (Kelly 30) and (Rachel 25),” she wrote. “We lost Kelly to cancer in 2019.”

Kelly’s death hit the family really hard. “It was the biggest tragedy she left behind her twin boys (7) and husband (BIL Joseph 30).”

OP explained that Joseph got help from her parents. “He used to spend a lot of time at my parents to get help with the kids,” she wrote. “Rachel then moved out and kept her distance for few months.”

However, a few months ago, they all met at their parents’ house — and were thrown for a loop.

OP visited her parents’ house two months ago, and also there were Rachel and Joseph, who had something they wanted to tell the family: They were engaged.

Rachel was engaged to her brother-in-law, who was married to their late sister.

“To say that we were shocked is an understatement but my parents said nothing after Joseph explained that Rachel helped him in his darkest times and comforted him a lot since they were both connected by Kelly's passing," OP shared.

'I just left with my husband as Rachel started crying after I called her disgusting to her face to do this to our sister,' she recalled.

“When things calmed down I actually received an invitation to Rachel and Joseph's wedding while asking for my ‘approval and blessing,’” she wrote.

“My husband laughed saying these 2 were legitimately mentally unstable to carry on with this; and I couldn't believe it either!”

More from CafeMom: Couple Sends List of 15 Rules for Their Wedding & People Think It's Nuts but Not Wrong

OP returned the wedding invite saying she wasn’t going to attend – and that she didn’t approve.

“I returned it immediately and refused to give my approval which caused Rachel to go on social media crying about how I mistreated her after she sacrificed her job and life to shelter her nephews and help them live stable life and make sure they don't get stuck with an evil stepmother who might abuse them,” she wrote.

“Basically saying she's doing this for her nephews to be able to grow up and stay close to family.”

OP recently had her parents over and they started “praising Rachel” for “all her sacrifices and good deeds by looking after the kids.” They pushed for her to approve their relationship and attend the wedding, but OP wasn’t happy about it.

“What about Kelly? Would she have wanted her sister to take her place? My God … the kids, what about the kids? How do they even feel about this? Who's Rachel to them now? Auntie? Mom? Stepmom? All 3?” she questioned.

“And they think they won't be confused and angry their own aunt took their mother's place?”

For OP, she saw the relationship as a potential disaster later on as well.

OP’s parents didn’t feel the same way she did. Instead, they thought she took things too far.

“Mom said my behavior was disgraceful and argued I was wrong in most of the points I made and called me judgemental and bitter to decide to guilt Rachel for ‘stepping up’ to take on a role of the mother,” OP explained.

Her mom said she was “selfish to judge my grieving sister and brother inlaw.”

But her thoughts kept spiraling, wondering if their relationship first started when Kelly was still alive given how fast their relationship progressed. “But if it was happening in the past few months then neither Joseph nor Rachel are thinking rationally.”

OP is still not OK with the situation but wanted to ask Redditors their thoughts.

“Your sister and BIL getting together is a little strange, especially as they did not say anything to anyone before,” one person wrote. “I'm wondering if the boys knew and were asked not to say anything to the rest of the family or if they just found out that their aunt is going to be their stepmother.”

“I completely get why you think this is inappropriate and have strong feelings about, and if you can’t move past it that’s fair,” another shared. “However that stance will cause a permanent divide in your family.”

“Kelly would be happy to know her children have two people who love them very much — who are also supporting each other,” someone else added.

“I get your shock and grief, but this isn't at all unusual and there is such a thing as keeping your thoughts and judgements to yourself,” shared another commenter. “If you carry on like this your nieces/nephews will lose you and a vital source of support. As will your sister. Try to see this from their point of view.”

These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.