When people stand around and yell at a woman in labor to push, not only can she burst blood vessels in her face, tear a lot more, and suffer some more complications, but she can also put enough pressure on the anus that the veins bulge, expand, and then bleed and hurt like hell — in other words, hello, hemorrhoids.
Now, it's true that you can get hemorrhoids just during pregnancy, especially with the increased blood flow, increased pushing from late pregnancy constipation, and pressure from the baby. But forced-pushing during delivery is well-known to cause excessive pressure and create these painful and gross veins that can sometimes need surgery to fix.
No worries, the FDA approved a single-use device — the Hem-Avert Perianal Stabilizer — to put counter-pressure in just the right spot. And it's, ugh, well, look for yourself.
(Slightly graphic image after the jump!)
Yeah, just insert the handy cushion up against the anus, then tape right on! Sure looks comfortable! And it sure looks like it will be convenient when a woman inevitably poops during pushing and they have to rip it off, wipe you down, and tape on a new one. Nope, that wouldn't interfere with your concentration or be weird or uncomfortable or anything.
Why bother having a midwife or spouse apply counter-pressure with a cool washcloth? Or listen to the mom's requests as to whether or not it's helpful or respecting her comfort level? No worries about getting women off their backs and onto hands and knees, which removes much of the pressure from the anus already … nah.
And what about allowing women to push when they feel the need and letting them push as hard as they feel they need to? No way, that's totally not high-tech enough. Who cares that studies show that telling women to hold their breath and push for 10 seconds can result in babies with lower APGAR scores and oxygen levels and also create much more trauma to the vagina and vaginal wall … and anus … than allowing more gentle pushing …
Just go ahead and allow them to tape the Hem-Avert to your rear and continue to yell at you to push way harder than you're comfortable with — until you turn purple and your oxygen levels drop. At least you know you won't have hemorrhoids!
Sigh …
Would you allow this thing to be taped to your butt?
Images via medgadget
