If there’s one thing I’ve learned in researching the real deal behind high schools for my daughter, it’s that everybody and their mama, their cousin, and their sister’s husband’s next door neighbor has an opinion. You could be in line at the grocery store, minding your own business perfectly fine, and some complete stranger will hear you mention a school name in conversation, whirl around, and offer up a nugget of wisdom.
And so it went a few weeks ago when we were in the parking lot at Rite Aid and Teen Child made a passing comment about a certain all-girls’ high school she intends to apply to. “Hmph. Those girls will turn her out,” sniffed the passerby who invited herself into our chat. “She’ll be diggin’ girls in no time,” she added, nodding at my kid.
There are a couple of reasons that comment made me take pause. Aside from the obvious question of who-the-heck-asked her? in the first place, I didn’t need the visual of my baby being turned out by anybody, male or female, adult or child. Crap like that will make me scrap the whole plan and homeschool The Girl right in the very unsexy confines of our living room for the next four years.
Secondly, I was irked that Random Gal was all loud and wrong about perpetuating the myth that single-sex institutions are breeding grounds for homosexuality. Forget the argument that being gay is the product of either nature or environment. I just didn’t need that busybody wrecking Skylar’s interest in an all-girls’ school. Although I wouldn’t classify her as full-blown boy crazy, the opposite sex is a definite distraction for my child. So when she announced that she was interested in going to this guy-less high school, I was pleasantly surprised. And relieved.
This isn’t the first time that I’ve heard comments about girl-on-girl hypersexuality at this particular school. One of the young ladies who goes to our church is an alumna and complained about being constantly hit on by lesbian and bisexual chicks dropping innuendo and flirting with her throughout the day. But, hear said girl tell it, she’s the object of everybody’s desire, male and female, so I didn’t really pay it much mind. Until now.
I don’t know exactly what being “turned out” entails because, as far as I can tell, you have to be at least a little bit open to sharing a kiss or having a sexual experience with someone of the same gender. You can’t turn a girl out who won’t even entertain the idea of being with another girl, which means she was at least a little turned on in the first place. Perhaps it means that it amps bi-curiosity up a few notches into being an actual participating experimenter. Heck if I know for sure.
I do know, however, that I’ve seen a plethora of young kids — even 12 and under — exploring same-sex lovin’. And that would be OK if I believed that they were actually gay and not just emulating folks in the streets or what they see on TV. Society’s slow-but-steady acceptance of gay and lesbian culture has made it hip to wave a rainbow flag. After all, Amber Rose is bi, Nicki Minaj is bi, Lady Gaga is bi. Glee celebrates the gay community, as does Degrassi on Teen Nick and just about anything that airs on MTV.
The curtain of shame is lifting from the GLBT lifestyle, but in some circles, it seems almost trendy for kids to claim their bisexuality or gayness. In the last two months alone, I’ve personally known three kids who’ve come out as gay or bi who I am almost convinced are not actually gay or bi and are doing it to be cool. I’m not saying because it’s a big deal if they are or aren’t, so save the hate mail. I don’t have any issues or hang-ups about homosexuality. I’m just an advocate of being true to self, not under the influence of what’s going on around you — gay, straight, whatever.
Is it possible to be “turned out” and become gay? Are this many kids experiencing the attraction organically or is it just hip to wave a rainbow flag?
Image via Guillaume Paumier/Flickr