There are things that are absolutely dreadful in life. But there is one thing that is worse than getting a bad haircut or a botched at-home Brazilian bikini wax or even your thumb falling off because you change channels with the remote too much. And that thing is when your kid gets sick. Nothing gets done. Your kid is miserable and it's so sad to see. And everything you own has snot on it. You become helpless — nothing you can do can help your adorable little one from turning into a pile of frowny face mush.
So as mothers we do what we have to do and we start pointing fingers. This is somebody's fault and you start counting back three days to when they were possibly exposed to this yuck and blame Grandma for not covering her mouth when she coughed, the kid at the playground who shared her granola bar, or your friend's kid who liked to pick boogers and feed them to your child. We blame, blame, blame.
Well, at least I do and I've got to stop.
Blaming somehow makes it all easier to deal with. Sort of. You can't be mad at your kid for being sick, so you have to be annoyed at someone. In fact, it was probably your husband's fault for not washing his hands after taking public transportation and then feeding your kid raisins. How dare he?!?! What was he thinking?!?! Though blaming your husband only causes unrest in the house and there already is a sick child, you don't need an angry husband on top of that. And I realize that sadly we can't live in little healthy bubbles where only the "good germs" reach our kids and the bad ones stay in the sewer with the rats where they belong.
Blaming also creates this terrible stereotype. If, say, I blame the kid down the block who we have playdates with, then the next time we are supposed to have a playdate, I will worry he has a case of the sick and spread his germy germs all over. It's like Scarlet Lettering a little cutie for no good reason — because kids get sick. We (I) have to accept that. Or else I will never have another playdate again. Or any friends for that matter.
I think I picked up this sick blame game from a sitter. Yep. That's it. Once when my daughter was sick, the sitter said with this all-knowing nod, "Oh where were you three days ago? Oh with the neighbor's kid? I bet he was sick and that's where she picked it up." Yeah! I enthusiastically replied as if finding patient zero was pivotal to my kid's recovery of a runny nose and all-around irritable-ness. So I blame her for me blaming others for any time my son or daughter comes down with something.
There I go again, blaming. If I blame that sitter for making me blame others for my kid being sick, then I have to blame my job for the sitter. Then I have to blame where I live and how expensive it is for having to have the job. And then I guess I blame my husband for not wanting to move sooner because I want to live in a more affordable area. Blame blame blame. Shame shame shame on me! Sigh. I have to stop the blame cycle. I know it's not your fault my kid is sick (anymore). But I have to say, if blaming anyone would make my kid instantly NOT sick, then I'm pointing all 10 of my fingers.
Do you do this too? Please say you do!
Image via quinnums/Flickr
