Bringing their first baby home from the hospital is an exciting time for new moms, but let's be honest, it can be pretty overwhelming and exhausting too.
And even though they've just given birth to a tiny human being and are stitched up, sore as hell, and so tired they feel like their eyes are going to swell shut, most brand new moms will still graciously accept visitors. Introducing family and friends to their newborn is pretty much the only way to guarantee they'll stop calling and bugging them for days on end about when they're finally going to get to see the baby. (People are so selfish, aren't they?)
Ok, ok, so I know they mean well and want to congratulate the happy new parents and snuggle the new baby for a bit. But visitors can be a bit overbearing during those first few postpartum days — especially when they give the new mom a bunch of things (both material and verbal) that she really just doesn't need.
On that note, if you're going to visit a first time mom and her newborn anytime soon, here are a few things you should forget bringing along with you. (Just bring her a casserole that she can freeze and keep reassuring her that she's doing a great job. That's the best thing.)
- Your germy kids — OMG. After I had my son, one of our visitors showed up with not only their school-aged kids, but also the damn dog. Had this not been my first baby, I probably would've been a lot more laid-back about it, but at the time, I was a basket case. Leave your kiddos AT HOME.
- Flowers — Yes, they're pretty, but trust me, new moms do not need a bouquet of flowers. They're doing their best to keep the baby alive — don't give them freakin' plants to deal with. (Again, bring a casserole.)
- Babysitting offers — News flash: She's just not ready for that sort of thing because she's still getting used to leaving the baby with her husband while she goes to take a shower. Put the offers on the back burner and bring them out again when the baby is a few months old.
- Booze — Ok, so I would've welcomed this little gift with open arms, but booze can be a huge buzz-kill for breastfeeding moms who are a ways off from pumping and dumping.
- Store gift cards — Yep, right after I had my son, someone brought me a gift card to my favorite pre-baby size store. And I cried, because all it did was remind me of how fat I was after gaining 50 pounds during pregnancy.
- Your lack of punctuality — If you are going to visit a newborn, DON'T BE LATE. Buy a watch, set an alarm, leave two hours early, whatever it takes so you arrive at the mom's house at the specific hour she told you to come over. Your inability to be on time is not welcome at her house.
- Advice — There's a time and a place for this. Unless she asks for it, keep your tried and true tips and tricks to yourself at least for the first couple of weeks.
- Restaurant gift cards — Again, a nice gesture, but this will only remind her that she's probably not getting a date night anytime soon. (Casserole, anyone?)
What was the worst thing you got from a visitor after having your first baby?
Image via Mary Fischer
