As a pregnant woman, I know my husband deals with a lot of my irrational nonsense. The other day I cried for no reason — right as he was telling me Costco's vodka brand is similar to Grey Goose. I mean, totally batty, I know. But it's not all our fault — really! There are certain things that, if your partner is clueless enough to do any of them while you're pregnant, might just lead you to want to take an old-fashioned frying pan to his head.
It was difficult to dwindle this list down to just 5, but here are some that come to mind:
He decides now is the perfect time for him to go on a strict diet. And to complain about how much weight he has gained — all while you are gaining two pounds a week whether you're eating french fries or rice crackers (I'm kidding — of course you shouldn't just be eating rice crackers). The last thing you want to hear about now is anyone's imaginary love handles.
He sleeps in two or more weekends in a row. And then, because you are pregnant, he wakes up at 11 to tell you you're welcome to go back to sleep now. Of course, you've already showered and have been up 6 hours.
He announces he has to go on a business trip to anyplace where there is a remote chance he'll get a suntan in the wintertime. Meanwhile, you can't fly so you're not joining him even if you could — but you will be shoveling snow in his absence.
He complains about any aspect of any dinner you've made during any one of the 9 months in which you are pregnant. In your first trimester, you feel so queasy that it's a miracle you can fry a steak without vomiting. And during your last trimester, it's difficult to stand on your feet by a stove for more than 20 minutes. So the way I see it, your partner has a three month window somewhere in the middle to complain about the potatoes not being toasty enough without seeming like a jerk.
He insists there is something wrong with how you've been complaining about feeling like a whale at times. Men don't like to hear us moan about our bodies. It's boring. And most of the time I agree. But if I have to again hear the words ___"___You're growing a life. You're supposed to feel beautiful" from someone who has never had the experience of growing three cup sizes and a belly overnight, I swear I will kill.
What's the most infuriating thing your partner can or has said to you while you were pregnant?
Image via Tatiana Vdb/Flickr
