Dressing up a baby for Halloween is arguably one of the biggest perks of having a baby in the first place, especially because they have no say in the matter — and especially if you have a taste for inappropriate humor. Because what's funnier than a baby dressed up in something only an adult should wear (and maybe not even an adult)?
Full disclosure: I'm completely obsessed with dressing up my 11-month-old as Walter White from Breaking Bad for Halloween this year. I mean, come on — what could be cuter than a tiny Heisenberg? I am the baby who knocks. It would be totally easy, too — just a little black hat with a brim, glasses, and a drawn-on moustache/goatee! Better still if I had a toddler-sized sibling to dress up as a mini Jesse Pinkman, like this BRILLIANT MOM:
Best baby Halloween costume ever? As Jesse would say, Yeah, b*tch! (And yes, that post is from Aaron Paul's Instagram feed! Of course he loved his pint-sized doppelgänger.)
Then again, there are so many other kid-unfriendly pop culture icons that would make hilarious baby disguises. Perfect example? A diminutive Don Draper. Mom and illustrator Lori Richmond seriously knocked it out of the park with her son's Mad Men-inspired disguise:
Whew! Looks like baby Don's been partying pretty hard, but he's still raring to go! Unfortunately, you can't always count on Barbie dolls to stay on their feet:
Sometimes the bottle's your only friend, man. For real, though, if my son only had some hair on his head, I might actually give that one a try.
Another beloved TV character known for his impressive head of hair, Game of Thrones's Jon Snow, would also make a fabulous baby costume — and even bald-headed tykes can pull that one off with this nifty wig:
Right?
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More from The Stir: 7 Baby Halloween Costumes That Scare Us to Death
Of course, since my baby is a boy, I've been focusing primarily on male characters/celebs thus far. But little girls open up a whole new world of opportunities. Like, I can barely even think of anything more fun than taking a little Red from Orange Is the New Black out trick-or-treating:
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That chicken, though!! Or how about an "Even More Lil'" Lil' Kim?
TEE-HEE!!! Other off-color girl costume ideas I'd love to try: Baby Miley Cyrus, Baby Patsy Stone (from Absolutely Fabulous — almost like Don Draper, except in stilettos!), Baby Fill-in-the-Blank Kardashian.
Except the truth is, as much as I love these subversively witty and demonically fun baby costume ideas, I probably won't use any of them. There are grandparents to consider, after all — grandparents who use Facebook, no less. So in all likelihood, my baby will probably end up dressed like this guy for Halloween:
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Oh well. A slightly twisted mom can dream, can't she?
Images via LoriDraws.com
