Raising boys. It's not something that comes with a manual, but it is definitely an adventure. While there are certain realities you experience (in general) raising kids, mothers of sons will likely get a kick out of this.
Urine on the walls. God-awful scents. Dirt … everywhere.
These are just some of the things moms raising boys admit they deal with on a daily basis. And should you happen to be a part of the club, then you likely have experienced one of these situations.
(And, if you haven't, just wait.)
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Penises Are NOT Swords
"Yeah … moms of boys are constantly having to remind their little gents that their, um, 'man parts' aren't swords. No need to try and battle friends with it." — April T.
Daughters Don't Make Life Complete
"As a mother of four boys, I'm so tired of people asking me, 'So, are you going to try for a girl?' Having a son and a daughter doesn't make you a perfect or complete parent. My heart is full with the children that God gave me. Stop trying to make it seem like I'm missing out, because I didn't have a daughter." — Cheryl T.
Growing Boys = Expensive Grocery Bills
"I really wish other boy moms I know would've told me about how fast your son will eat you out of your own house. I'm going to the grocery store so much each week, people think I work there!" — Rachel M.
More from The Stir: 5 Easy Ways to Save Money at the Grocery Store
There Is No Speed Except Hyper
"Little girls look like angels during shopping trips. Yes, attitudes will vary from child to child, but it's always an adventure with my boy. He sprints down aisles, hides under clothing towers and screams, and tries to crash together whatever he can find. I need a Xanax just thinking about it!" — Molly H.
It's All About That Pee
"Sweet Jesus, no one told me about the amount of pee I would have to deal with — on a daily basis! My son peed on the ceiling when he was a baby (he has a powerful stream), peed on the walls while potty training, and loved taking poops in the bathtub. I should've bought stock in bleach and disinfectant wipes!" — Monae P.
Evel Knievel Looks Like an Amateur Compared to Your Kid
"There has got to be something in a boy's DNA that makes him think all the crazy thrills he seeks are safe! I can't tell you how many times I've had to run after my son when he was little, because he climbed to the top of the tree, tried to jump off the roof, or do some bike trick in the middle of the street." — Claire P.
More from The Stir: The Magic & Adventure of Raising Boys Captured Beautifully on Film (PHOTOS)
"Boner Talk"
"I've been horrified and slightly fascinated to discover that tween boys are completely and totally obsessed with 'boner' talk, particularly how many said boners they get per day compared to their friends. I'm just praying that this talk hasn't yet veered too far into the territory of what those boners are for!" — Jacqueline B.
Raising a Boy Feels Like a Sprint & a Marathon at the Same Time
"My two-and-a-half year old son tests my physical stamina on the daily. The boy likes to move fast and live dangerously, andĀ Iām faced with theĀ exhausting challenge of keeping up with him. Whether heāsĀ climbing out of his crib, racing to the park on his scooter, or jumping down the stairs, thereās endless running, catching, diving, and saving required to keep him close and safe. HisĀ energy is insane — and enviable — and my fitness is all the better since this small, mighty boy came into our lives." — Dria D.
"Stinky Feet Syndrome" Is Real
"Oh, you'll think an animal died in your basement, but it's just your sons' sneakers." — Liz A.
More from The Stir: 30 Crazy Tings Moms of Sons Say Every Day
Brothers Might Act Like Gladiators, but They Really Do Love Each Other
"Honey, if your boys aren't fighting yet … just wait. Unlike my daughters, my sons' fights are more physical than verbal — and while I certainly don't condone beating each other up, I do realize that's typically how they resolve stuff. They really do love each other, though." — Leslie D.
Puberty Makes Laundry ... Interesting
"How do I put this nicely? When your son goes through puberty, you might want to wear gloves when you do laundry — assuming he doesn't do his own. (He will likely hide the 'evidence.') Between the wet dreams and 'quiet time' he spends alone in his room, let's just say you're going to discover a very personal side of your boy." — Monica C.
Items That Don't Belong on the Table -- but Always End up There
"'Honey, your athletic cup doesn't belong on the kitchen table. Can you please take it upstairs?' He [my son] did that last week. No joke. Not enough Clorox in this house to make me feel right again." — Mary H.
More from The Stir: 13 Totally Gross Things I Don't Want My Kid to Do in Public
It's Normal to Break Out Sound Effects & Karate for No Reason
"I can't tell you how many times I've embarrassed myself, because I shot lasers and power streams to my son across the room, or picked him up from daycare doing ninja kicks and making those 'kiyah' noises. Yes, I likely look silly, but it's something fun I do with my little guy." — Vanessa E.
You're Beyond Tired of Boys Being Treated Like Horny Animals
"I can't stand boys being treated like animals in heat. Hearing about dads 'cleaning their guns' in front of boys, so they can send some fearful message to keep their hands to themselves, really pisses me off. Do they not realize their girls are calling my sons nonstop? Do they turn a blind eye to the fact that their daughters are trying to brush up on boys for attention? Yeah, I think I might need to get a gun to clean." — Larissa Y.
Dirt Is Kind of a Big Deal
"One of my boys asked me this during bathtime … 'Oh, mama, can we please not take a bath tonight, 'cuz washing off the dirt will stop us from growing.'" — Kristi C.
More from The Stir: Why Do Kids Love Playing in Dirt So Much?
You Feel No Shame Letting Your Boy Pee Outside
"I can't tell you how happy I am knowing my boy can pee practically anywhere. If we're outside, and there's no restroom in sight, go pee in the bushes. If we're on a road trip, pee in this cup. It really does make things easier!" — Mallory F.
Boys Love Their Mommies ... a Lot
"My son is a typical boy in that he is 1000 percent a mama's boy. He only has eyes for his mom; no need to ask who he wants to read to him, rock him, or take him to daycare. It's always his mama, and I am just fine with being his princess. Just have to remember to let his daddy get some of the fun time, too!" — Lyndi Z.Ā
More from The Stir: 8 Signs You're Raising a Mama's Boy
