12 Natural Parenting Myths That Are Just Plain Not True

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As much as we like to think we're not being judgy, when it comes to parenting, most of us tend to slot fellow moms into one of a few different categories. And when it comes to those who subscribe to a natural parenting lifestyle, the first word that might come to mind is "crunchy." There are plenty of misconceptions about being a natural parent being spread around, but we wanted to clear the air once and for all. Here is the real deal about natural parenting. 

While people might assume (and we all know what happens when we do that) there's one cookie-cutter version of the philosophy, they're very, very wrong. Natural parents have all sorts of different practices that they favor, and the misinformation about what a natural parent does seems to be very widespread. We found real mothers who were willing to share which natural parenting practices their family does, and which myths they'd really wish would go away. Because as mothers, we should all be supporting each other — not judging. 

We consulted with some moms who have embraced natural parenting to find out which preconceived notions are major misconceptions. Keep reading to find out which myths have got to go.

All Natural Parents are 'Hippies'

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Seriously false. "I think it's a misconception because most of the natural parents I know — certainly it is true for myself — have very deliberately, through a lot of research, come to believe that many aspects of natural parenting align with what children need, development wise," says Lucy AitkenRead, who runs the blog Lulastic. "It is often based on the latest neuroscience. Through my blog I am getting to know a community of natural parents and they are and doctors, scientists, lawyers, whatever!"

There's Nothing Mainstream About Natural Parenting

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Probably true! AitkenRead finds herself as a sounding board for other parents who find out she follows a natural parenting style. "A lot of people end up telling me bits of their own parenting that aligns with 'crunchy parenting' — almost as if I am a confessional," she says. "They will say how they let their babies sleep in their bed until they were ready for their own bed, or how they always let their babies fall asleep at the breast. It makes me feel that there are some elements of natural parenting that are actually quite mainstream, it's just that people don't talk about it!"

Co-Sleeping Is Forever

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"We co-sleep with our children, so we have an enormous family bed that sleeps me, my husband, and our 3-year-old and 5-year-old! They can have their own beds whenever they want, but for now we all sleep best when we are close. Basically like a family of bears," says AitkenRead.

Their Kids Rule the Roost

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Definitely not true — natural parents just go about discipline differently. "Most people believe that natural parenting is too relaxed and the children raised this way have no direction or are totally out of control," says Maggie Stevens, author of ParentFix and mother of five. "The general public has a strange belief that tough love and strict discipline are the way to control youth.  I have actually found that most parents who use tough love have out-of-control children. This method of parenting creates angry children or kids with low self-esteem. In my workshops I always ask parents how they feel when their boss yells at them when they make a mistake. Most admit they hate that type of management. It makes them feel bad about their work and it gives them animosity towards their boss. It is no different for children. If they have parents enforcing tough discipline, they end up hating their parents or themselves and eventually rebel in one form or another. Natural parenting provides a better solution. Discipline comes from the word disciple, which means to teach. The discipline we use on our children does no good unless it is designed to teach. When parents take the time to figure out why a child is misbehaving, figure out what need the child is trying to satisfy and then help the child meet that need in an appropriate way, the bad behavior disappears. It is so simple and works every time. The parent/child relationship remains strong."

Natural Parenting Is Making Kids "Soft"

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Considering how much research many parents who take the natural approach do in order to follow this particular style, you can hardly say they're resting on their laurels, but Stevens says she hears it a lot. "A big misconception is that they are lazy or do not know how to parent," she says. "They also believe that their children are getting away with all kinds of stuff. Or that the children from parents who use natural parenting are being babied and will not be tough enough to handle life."

Their Kids Don't Get to Be 'Regular' Kids

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"By far I think the biggest misconception we face is that our daughter is somehow missing out on life," says Dr. Kevin Morford, chiropractic physician and adjunct faculty instructor at Oklahoma State University in Oklahoma City and father of a 4-year-old daughter. "Since she doesn't get to eat McDonald's or down Cokes she somehow lives a miserable, separated, left-out-of-truly-living lifestyle. What many miss is that she still gets chocolate (we just make cookies at home using ingredients we know and trust), she loves pizza, and genuinely — on her own — grabs apples, pears, or plums for snacks. Then people find it strange that she'll reject their chicken nuggets as something weird. Of course, others think that her response is weird."

Natural Parents Are Judging You

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You're going to find naysayers in any group of people you meet, but if you think natural parents are looking down upon you because of the "mainstream" way you're raising your kids, think again. They may quietly remove their child from a situation that presents options that don't mesh with their lifestyle, but they're not trying to be snooty about it.

"Not to overdo it, but the other misconception is that natural parents are stuck up," says Dr. Moford. "Yes, I don't want you trying to give my kid fast food leftovers and I may say no if you ask if they can have a sucker. It's not intendeed to be rude. It's intended to teach my child how to treat and respect their body by making healthy choices. I'm not trying to alienate anyone, I'm trying to help her grow up healthy, strong, and have that knowledge to continue that throughout her life."

It's a Really Expensive Way to Live

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In a perfect world, buying organic would be affordable enough so everyone can do it, right? Morford insists natural parenting isn't as pricey as you would think … and it's also not so tough to skip the convenience of drive-thrus. "Biggest question and rebuke I hear is about ease and simplicity. It's often implied that fast food and regular doctor visits are normal because that's what life allows. Starting early we found that our lifestyle and natural parenting are actually ridiculously simple," he says. "Packing a healthy snack or lunch really saves time and money over other options in the end. Case in point: Our daughter was almost 4 years old before she ever took a single antibiotic." 

Natural Parents Have It All Figured Out

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Hey guys, natural parents are just like all other parents! We're all trying to figure out how to navigate this life as we go along. "Parents want the best for the kids, but some parents may focus on this so much that is becomes more of a source of anxiety, rather than a help," says Cassandra Curtis, the COO and cofounder of Once Upon a Farm who started her business to help streamline the process of natural eating for parents nationally. "For example, a parent may believe that their child only should eat organic, should only wear organic cotton, should not have medicine, etc., so much so that they may think about it constantly, avoid social events, etc. Consistent anxiety can end up negatively affecting a child more so than an occasional non-organic item or conventional medicine. I think the key here is balance. Do what you think is right — but also have flexibility."

Natural Parents Let Their Own Well-Being Go

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Sure, natural parents put a ton of focus on their kids, but show me one parent who hasn't put their own needs aside for the sake of their little ones. Still, Curtis urges all moms and dads to give themselves a break. "We want the best outcome for our kids. To do this, some parents will focus so much on doing everything 'natural' with the child (emotion coaching, healthy eating, attachment parenting, etc.) that they forget themselves in the equation," she admits. "One of the most important things we can do for our kids is to work on ourselves, our anxieties, and our emotional regulation to model and create resilient and emotionally intelligent kids."

Natural Parents Don't Vaccinate Their Children

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That's a really big statement to label an entire group of people. While some who follow natural parenting may choose not to vaccinate, many do. "We've chosen a natural parenting style in our everyday lives but when it comes to the health of our children we trust our pediatrician and are very firm in our decision to vaccinate," says Katie Galligan, a mom of three boys, from Boston, Massachusetts. "There's no single way to parent your child, no matter which ideals you decide to follow. Vaccinating is something we're not willing to compromise on and if anyone thinks I'm less of a 'natural' parent for doing so — let them think whatever they want."