According to the US Census Bureau, as of 2014, one in four children under the age of 18 were being raised without fathers (a total of about 17.4 million). With numbers like that, you would think the stigmas and stereotypes once associated with single moms would be rapidly disappearing — but unfortunately, single mothers still face hurtful discrimination every day. And it's about time for that to change!
Whether we're talking about single mothers' lifestyles, backgrounds, or child-rearing techniques, there are still so many commonly held misconceptions about women raising children alone in this country; like most myths, they're largely untrue. Let's put a stop to these tired, insulting old ideas by calling them out once and for all!
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Single Moms Are After Your Man
It's probably the #1 stereotype single moms face: They're after your husband! After all, they're single, right? That must mean they're in the market for a man — a good man like yours! Relax, ladies: Single moms aren't home-wreckers, they're just … single.
Single Moms Are Too Busy for Their Kids
Between looking for a man and their busy work schedules (don't forget they're single-handedly supporting a family!), single moms don't have time to help their kids with their homework or serve any sort of dinner that didn't come from a microwave or off a takeout menu. The reality: Children of single moms get just as much love (and dinner!) as those living in two-parent households.
Single Moms Have Messy Homes
Yes, single moms are busy and don't always have a lot of extra time to clean — but that doesn't mean their homes all qualify for an episode of Hoarders, which is what far too many people seem to think!
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Single Moms Party All the Time
Since some single moms get weekends off (the silver lining to joint custody arrangements), parents with partners often assume these women spend all their free time knocking back cocktails and dancing the night away. But while single moms certainly deserve a night out, they're probably just as likely to use their child-free hours catching up on work, housework, or napping.
Single Moms Are Always Late to Pick Up Their Kids
Myth: Children of single moms are always the last ones to be picked up from school, playdates, birthday parties — you name it. Fact: Considering how skilled single moms need to be in the area of time management, they might be among the most punctual parents you know!
Single Moms Never Help Out at School
Too many PTA presidents think that single moms' lives are far too hectic for them to help out with bake sales, book fairs, carnivals, and the like — but single moms want to help support their children's schools, too!
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Single Moms Have Kids Who Act Out
Everybody knows behavioral issues stem from "trouble at home," right? And aren't single mom households technically "broken" homes? In a word, NO.
Single Moms Have Skeletons in Their Closets
It's the big question hanging over every single mom like a dark cloud: How did she get to be a single mom in the first place? Well, not necessarily as the result of a tumultuous divorce or other personal catastrophe — some moms actually choose to start families on their own, and there's nothing wrong with that! Either way, the specifics of her situation are her business, and nobody else's.
Single Moms Are Always Broke
Newsflash: "Single mom" and "welfare mom" are not the same thing (and neither term should be used as an insult). Not every single mom is struggling financially, even if she is the sole breadwinner in her family, so don't raise your eyebrows at her if she happens to be wearing a new pair of pricey shoes!
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Single Moms Are Bitter
Maybe she just went through a divorce, maybe she didn't (like we said, that's her business). But hard knocks or not, it's not fair (or accurate) to think that a single mom resents happily married parents or even wishes her life were any different at all!
Single Moms Are Helpless
Just because a single mom doesn't have a man around the house to fix leaky faucets or do the yard work doesn't mean she's incapable of taking care of things herself — or that she's going to ask somebody else's husband to do it for her!
Single Moms Are Selfish
Probably one of the most hurtful assumptions people make about single moms is that they're only concerned with their own happiness — otherwise they would have tried harder to make their marriages work, right? Plus, they spend all their child support on spa days and designer clothes so they can catch a man. UGH, really?! No.
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Single Moms Always Want Your Help
Okay, okay, we get it — single moms are super busy! But getting close to them doesn't come with a risk of being asked to babysit or otherwise help cross items off their to-do list on a regular basis.