When folks are expecting a baby — especially their first — they are hoping for the best experience ever, but they never know what might happen in those life-changing moments. Even with a plan in place, depending on the circumstances, things can go very differently, leaving a new mom with a touch of remorse. We asked moms in our CafeMom community to share some of the delivery room regrets that bother them no matter how much time has passed since they welcomed their new babies.
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Trying to decide between a home birth and giving birth in a hospital? There are pros and cons to both options, but the most significant is realizing that with a hospital birth, one is dealing with a busy staff and other patients. There are lots of rules and regulations in hospitals as well which inhibit a more personalized birth plan as well. This isn't to say that one type of birth is better than the other, but it's important for women to understand both sides of the equation before they make a final choice. Which is why we spoke to real women who have given birth in hospitals to ask them what their biggest delivery room regrets were. Take a look at their answers, which can help make this difficult decision a little easier — and see if their advice is helpful!
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Being at the Hospital -- Instead of Home
"With my hospital births, [my regret] was delivering in a hospital. I don't regret anything with my home births."
Crowds
"That I allowed no less than 12 people to be in the delivery room with my first child. It was a total circus sh*t-show."
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Getting an Epidural
"Getting the epidural. I wish I'd have been strong enough to not be talked into it and tried for a natural birth."
Being Unprepared
"With my first, I didn't prepare well. I should have gone to a birthing class or something. I just didn't want to.
With my second, I don't really regret anything. I was well prepared and felt in charge the whole time. I ended up choosing most of the same stuff as my first, but it was my choice this time."
Entertaining in the Recovery Room
"Not making my fatigue clear to my guests immediately after delivery. I forced myself to stay awake and play hostess in my recovery room when I should have been resting."
Filming in the Delivery Room -- Without Approval
"Letting my mom and his mom remain in the delivery room. My mom drove me crazy; his mom videotaped the birth without my knowledge."
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Not Getting That First Photo
"I didn't get that traditional mom-dad-baby picture after she was born."
Having a C-Section
"This! And because of this I have never and will never have a vaginal birth … three unnecessary C-sections."
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Not Catching Some Shut-Eye
"That I didn't sleep when I had the chance."
Vomiting
"Vomiting on the guy delievering the drugs during my C-section — and on my husband."
Not Standing Up for Myself
"I regret not standing up for myself. The on-call doctor just wanted my baby out as fast as possible and kept telling me to push for 10 seconds straight and kept telling me to push harder. It was my third natural birth and I thought I was going to die of pain. All my other births by my regular OB were amazing and hardly painful. She let me push when and how I wanted."
Not Having a Doula
"That I did not go with my intuition and have a doula. My husband was useless as a coach and I was scared. There wasn't anyone who really helped me, explained what was going on, etc. At least a doula would let me know everything was on track, help me switch positions, get me off my back and in a better position to deliver, those kinds of things."
Not Breastfeeding Immediately
"Not trying to breastfeed my son immediately after he was born. They let me hold him for a few minutes and then took him away to get a bath and go into the nursery."
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Getting an Episiotomy
"That I let my doctor cut me down there to make room for the baby's head, when in reality he could have used two fingers, pushed down, and made more room. I delivered three other babies and one was 9 pounds, 10 ounces, and I did not need to be cut."
