Being a new mom is hard enough. Physically, you're barely getting any sleep, your body parts (boobs included!) really hurt, and by the time you get a few months in, you're losing a lot of hair, which totally sucks. Your mental and emotional state of mind is a clusterf*ck of its own. Your hormones are all over the place and so is your mood. You're mad, happy, sad, laughing, crying, and pissed off — all in a matter of 120 seconds. That's why you absolutely do not need any negativity when it come to your breastfeeding endeavors! And yet …
And yet.
People just can's help themselves, can they?
Listen up, world: DO NOT say anything AT ALL to breastfeeding moms unless it's some sort of encouragement. And that includes "helpful" advice.
Here are some of the most annoying, unhelpful, and just plain rude things 15 moms were told while they were trying to nourish their babies.
Your breasts are pretty big!
"I once had a complete stranger stop me and my baby on our stroller walk to tell me that I must be doing a great job breastfeeding because my breasts are so big. I'm talking complete stranger! What's wrong with people? My husband freaked out when I told him the story." — Cara, 26
Did she eat enough?
"My husband, bless his heart, was always concerned with our daughter getting enough to eat. It seemed like every one of my nursing sessions was followed up with a question from him: Do you think she had enough to eat? I legit wanted to strangle him. I don't know if she had enough to eat! My breasts aren't made of glass, so I can't see if there's any milk left in there. But I do know that she ate from one breast for a while and pushed off. Then ate from the other breast for a while and pushed off. So I'm assuming she's satisfied because she's not crying right now. No one more than me (her mother) wishes she could just say, 'Thanks, mom! I'm all done for now.'" — Claudia, 32
You'd have so much more freedom if you just gave the kid a bottle!
"My mother-in-law is a big proponent of formula-feeding because she thinks it's just easier and a mom isn't 'tied down' to her baby all the time. I can't tell you how many times I heard her tell me, 'You'd have so much more freedom if you just gave the kid a bottle!' I get it. But it's my choice to breastfeed, so please respect my choice." — Anna, 29
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Would you be more comfortable covering up?
"I was traveling for work with my husband, our nanny, and my baby. When we were all at the airport, my son started getting fussy and was making tongue-thrusts to signal his hunger. When my son is hungry, I feed him there and then. And that's what I did. I'm used to dirty looks, but this was the first time I actually got a comment. An older lady across the way asked me if I would be more comfortable covering up. I replied, 'Well, I know you'd be more comfortable, but I'm all good here — thanks!'" — Mona, 27
Isn't she too old?
"I breastfed my daughter until she was about 14 months and my mother-in-law couldn't handle that. 'Isn't she too old for you to be nursing her still?' she'd ask me. I wanted to say, 'Look, your son is 32 and you still basically nurse him, so I don't see what the issue is.'" — Tori, 32
You should give him food in addition to the milk.
"My father-in-law, who has no business of any kind having an opinion on the matter (frankly, I don't think anyone does), kept telling me that my son needs food on top of the milk he was getting. My son was 4 months old!" — Tiffany, 31
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You *only* nursed for four months?
"Maybe I'm on the other side of the spectrum here when it comes to nursing, but I hated it. I didn't feel bonded with my baby. My boobs were sore constantly. I had no time to myself. But, I felt pressured to nurse because 'that's what you do' and that's what was expected of me. So I did have to endure a lot of scrutiny and (what I felt) where sh-tty comments to me when I stopped nursing at four months." — Avery, 29
Why don't you take that into the bathroom?
"While I was at a restaurant with my husband and daughter, I had to nurse. I did cover up with one of those pretty cover-ups. There was no part of me that was exposed at all. Yet, the table next to me told me that it would be better for everyone if I 'took that into the bathroom.' I very promptly responded, 'The only thing I take in the bathroom is a sh-t.'" — Sherri, 29
Top off your nursing sessions with some formula.
"My mother kept telling me that I should be topping off my nursing sessions with some formula so that I'd 'know for sure' that my daughter was no longer hungry. That really angered me. While I am not one who justifies my actions, I did feel the need to send her some reading material to catch up on when it comes to how this whole breastfeeding thing works. Topping off with formula reduces your supply because there is no demand. 'Leave me alone!!!' I kept wanting to scream." — Beth, 30
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Your baby isn't getting enough to eat from your breasts.
"I kept hearing from my mother-in-law that my baby wasn't getting enough to eat from my breasts and that I should be bottle-feeding a certain amount of ounces per bottle and a certain amount of bottles per day. This would ensure that my baby is not only fed, but satisfied, healthy, and will sleep through the night." — Terri, 28
You have a lot of milk because you have big boobs, right?
"I always had pretty large boobs, and when I was a breastfeeding mom, they were even bigger. What's funny, though, is that I didn't have the best supply. That wouldn't stop people from assuming though. Once my best friend (pretty much flat-chested) told me how much she envied my big boobs because 'obviously' I had plenty of milk for my daughter. Well, that wasn't the case and it was a sore subject for me. People can't just assume anything!" — Carolyn, 24
You still feed him like that?
"My sister-in-law couldn't even say the word, actually. Once she was over when my son was 11 months and when I went to go nurse him she said, 'You still feed him like that?'
"Some people, man." — Yael, 28
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I bet you can't wait to give your boobs back to your husband.
"I was out for drinks with a group of friends who all happened to be nursing, or were at one point nursing. One of my friends said something along the lines of wanting 'to be done soon so that I can give my boobs back to my husband.' Okay, we can laugh and joke, but that's I think is so wrong nowadays! Any creature with breasts and nipples has only ever used them to feed their offspring. Breasts have become so hyper-sexualized and it's ridiculous!" — Dara, 31
How often do you have to do that exactly?
"When I went back to work following my (very short) maternity leave, I was given a space that I could pump. It was a small but quaint room right near a colleague's office. I'd pump about three times a day, and after about two weeks being back, he said to me, 'How often do you have to do that exactly?' I'm such a sassypants, so I responded with a few not-nice things. Oops." — Cheryl, 29
What do you mean you're not nursing?
"I received a lot of flack for not nursing and it really bothered me. In fact, still does to this day. You never know what kind of health issues moms are going through, so you cannot judge formula-feeding moms! I wanted to nurse so badly, but I have a joint condition and I'm on medicine every day of my life. Because of this, I could not breastfeed my child." — Haven, 25
