Babies are adorable, but crying aside, they can't do much to let us know what they're thinking. That's why baby onesies with sayings on them are so wildly popular. They're a way for parents to let their baby express a little bit of personality via the outfit. Most of the time, onesies say something cute or silly, maybe even a little sappy. But some of these onesies take aim at dads, painting them as hapless idiots who are totally useless when it comes to parenting.
Yes, we know they're just meant to be jokes, and that the baby is too young to understand, but we adults all see what's happening. What are we supposed to think when baby's wearing a onesie that blames Dad for her messy outfit or calls him out for over-drinking? Do we really expect no better from dads? And what's a dad to think when he sees that's what baby's wearing?
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No matter how far we've come in society in putting parents on an equal playing field, onesies like these send a message to all the good dads out there that they'll basically never win. And if any of us put our baby boys in a onesie that takes aim at dad, just imagine how he'll feel as a father himself one day in the future.
Take a look at some of the onesies that are just a little too offensive for comfort.
Dumb Daddy
Just imagine the word Mommy in place of Daddy on this. Wouldn't happen? Exactly.
Drunk Daddy
Oh, right, because Daddy's inappropriate with alcohol. That's hysterical, right? RIGHT?!
Who's the Boss?
Or, you know, Mom and Dad could be equal partners. Just an idea.
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Make Mom Do It
Because why trust him with the basics when he helped make the tiny human?
Forgetful Dad
We're pretty sure a onesie counts as a shirt when you're a baby, so this one's not only rude but kind of incorrect.
Something Stinks
It's true; good dads do their fair share of diaper duty. But good moms don't act like total jerks when he's a little grossed out.
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Don't Keep Calm
Or just do what needs to be done because you are also a grown-up who helped create this child and can be trusted to make baby care decisions without asking the other parent for permission.
Daddy's Got Avoidance Issues
If he doesn't bother coming inside for dinner, why did you make a baby with him in the first place?
Daddy Reads Upside Down
We can't tell Daddy dressed you, but we can tell Mommy's passive aggressive.
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Paternity Test Says ...
Because who doesn't love a deadbeat dad joke?
Daddy Doesn't Know His Colors
Or walk on the wild side and pick out your own kid's clothes. If you can be trusted to keep the baby alive for five minutes, it's probably safe to choose a pair of pants for her to wear.
Lying to Dad
Or maybe Mom and Dad are both fairly intelligent human beings who bonded over their sparkling conversation?
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Really?
Look forward to the years of therapy ahead for your child.
Anatomy Lesson
How would a grown man possibly figure out the difference between the mouth and the anus without these helpful directions?
He's Already Gone
If you need to put a "my man is taken" sign on your baby to get your guy to keep it in his pants, you might as well tell him to take a hike now.
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Not a Breastfeeding Promotion
Breastfeeding is not sexual. But gross references to Dad being jealous of someone else touching Mom's boobs? Yup, those are sexual.
