We have all been there. We have all made the foolish mistake of picking our child up from school or soccer practice and getting suckered into another playdate. Then we end up elbow deep in allergen-free muffin mix, trying to find a fidget spinner that fell in the couch, and … is the other mom asleep on the couch? Playdates seem so fun, but in reality, they really can lead to some of the craziest parenting stories we've ever heard.
And not only can it be troublesome to deal with our kids being in someone else's home, but it can be just as horrible to have other people's kids in our homes. From potty accidents to R-rated movies playing to naked kids, moms never know what they are going to get when it comes to a playdate.
Not to mention that kids often will argue during their playdate, not want to share, or get bored. And when they are actually having fun, they are most likely making a mess or getting into some kind of trouble. Basically, play dates are just all-around not a good idea. And yet, we do them anyway.
Here, 21 totally true stories that will make you say OMG! After reading these, we really are considering canceling all future playdates.
The Force Is With Them
"I caught my son, at 6, with his best friend using their penises as light sabers in my yard by the pool. They're both Star Wars geeks, and had taken off their wet bathing suits and were trying to 'cross swords.' Yeah, having to tell another mom that happened was pretty rough; she is very prim and proper, so it didn't go over great."
Sleeping Beauty
"[A] mom came into my home, handed her child to me, looked me straight in the eye, and said, 'I'm going to take a nap.' For the next hour and a half, she slept on my couch while I played with her toddler. After the playdate, I gently woke her up. She popped up, grabbed her child, and left. Not another word out of her. She obviously needed sleep!"
Hit and Run
"A mom brought her 2-year-old son over for a first playdate without mom … When I opened the door, she handed me a plastic potty and a large bag of clothes. 'We just started potty training and he doesn't seem to understand yet so there have been a lot of accidents. See you in three hours!' I was too stunned to say anything as she ran off."
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Where the Wild Things Are
"We showed up at a playdate to a TV blaring a rated R movie. The mom said she left the TV on to drown out her kids' shrieking. Sure enough, the shrieking soon began … then, I heard a massive bang. We ran down to the basement to find her son literally swinging from the drapes like Tarzan. The mom laughed and said, 'This room is where the kids play, so we try not to have rules for this room.'"
When Your Kids Are Watching Far Too Much Television
"I took my 9-year-old daughter, my 6-year-old son, and his friend to the movies. On the way to the theater, I heard my son's friend say, 'If you have a healthy heart, you can have healthy sex with Viagra.' Then all the children started saying it. Of course they had NO IDEA what they were saying, but I thought I might drive my car right off the road! I asked him where he heard that and he said, 'at home … on the commercials on TV.'"
Care to Share?
"We were at a public playdate at the Y, little kids running everywhere. My older one was happily playing while I nursed the baby. She finished and while I was closing up shop, a 2-year-old came up to me. Before I could even smile at him, he tried to reach in [my shirt] and grab a snack! His mom came running up and apologized. She was almost in tears. She was trying to wean him and he wasn't happy about it. She apologized over and over and made a hasty exit. I was speechless for a good 15 minutes."
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What's Going on in Here?
"I walked down the hallway to check on my kids who were playing with their friends … and my friend, their mom, was peeing in my bathroom with the door open!"
King Kid
"We went to a playdate where the host's boy brought out toys — like a massive thing of water balloons — then proceeded to play with them while refusing to let any other child touch them. He'd sneer at them and say no one else was allowed to touch his things. His parents just sat there, no change of expression, no corrections … they acted like this was totally normal and acceptable behavior for a 5-year-old. I packed my son up and left."
Accidents Happen
"We went to a playdate at a bouncy house place. My daughter was 4 and was having so much fun she decided she couldn't be bothered to leave the bounce house for potty business. So instead, she pulled her pants down and went poop at the bottom of a slide. Then … another kid slid into the mess! Luckily the mom of the boy who'd slid into it wasn't fazed; she had four kids so I'm assuming poop just happened at her house."
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Something Sinister?
"My daughter had a playdate with a pal who I'm always happy to have over for the simple fact that they never fight. So, their playdates require no parental intervention aside from the occasional head poked 'round the door to see if anyone wants something to eat. Yet one time, when I checked in on them in the kitchen, I was horrified to find dolls in pots of water: They were drowning dolls! NAKED dolls! Psychopaths in the making? Before I got myself into a full-blown tizzy and started calling kiddie shrinks, I decided to ask them what the heck they thought they were doing. The answer? They were having a pool party."
Artistic Differences
"I regularly took my 3-year-old son to a friend's house where he plays with her 4-year-old, and on this particular day my friend mentioned she was going to hang this canvas she had painted herself. But it turns out my son, at some point, had scribbled all over it in dark pen — I recognized his big O shapes with lines through it. It completely ruined her work, and she could no longer hang it. Thankfully she laughed, but I've never been so ashamed."
A Stinky Situation
"One day a mom with a 4-year-old came over. I could smell his stinky diaper when they walked in the house, and I mentioned it to the mom, but she ignored me. She ended up getting on a call for 45 minutes, while her kid sat there reeking up the joint."
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Clothing Optional?
"When my son was almost 3, I met up with a friend at a big indoor play area. So my friend and I were standing there talking and waiting to see our kids come down the slide. After a minute my son came down … naked. I. Was. Mortified. He took off running and I had to chase after this naked child who was laughing like a maniac."
Swing and Miss
"One time while on a playdate my son asked to go pee. After I said yes, he peed on their carpeted steps!"
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Honestly, Now!
"At a play date for 2-year-olds, the parents wanted all the kids to play outside and stay outside, yet provided no toys for the kids to play with: no balls, no bubbles, no nothing!"
Not So Egg-cellent
"I had a friend and her little girl come over for lunch. I'd made quiche and muffins, and my friend fed her daughter everything … and then the little girl threw up all over the living room! My friend later told me that she had suspected her daughter might have an egg allergy … I wish she'd just told me and I'd have found something else for the little girl to eat!"
Monkey Business Gone Wrong
"My son and his best friend were playing on the monkey bars on the playground after school; I was supervising their playdate. They were getting a little rough and my son's friend fell off the monkey bars, started screaming and crying. I looked and his elbow was almost popping out of his skin! I acted fast, kept him still, and had the ambulance there in less than six minutes. He had surgery and has had a complete recovery, but man, this was a scary one!"
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Hi-YAH!
"My 4-year-old daughter decided to reenact something she saw on America's Funniest Home Videos, and full-on karate kicked her cousin in the crotch. Poor boy spent the next few hours on the couch with an ice pack."
Big Mistake
"[The neighborhood kids] were playing with chalk on the driveway while the moms were hanging on the porch. We had no idea what they were drawing — buses we thought — but by the end, I had six rather large penises drawn on my driveway! It never rains where I live, so that art will be memorialized there for quite some time."
An Acquired Taste?
"My boys were raised in the country. Where we lived, it wasn't unheard of to eat rabbit. So, the boys were invited to play with a friend in town who'd just gotten a pet rabbit for his birthday. My boys started squeezing it and told the little boy, 'These things are GREAT with teriyaki or BBQ sauce!' Kid freaked, mom un-invited us after asking what exactly we were teaching our kids and what the heck kind of parents were we? Lesson learned: Brief the boys on 'town-isms'!"
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That's Gotta Hurt
"So the cool mom from my sons' preschool class that I've always wanted to be friends with invites us to go to her country club to swim. I was worried about being out of my element, but decided to go because I wanted to make a good impression. Our kids are playing together in the splash pad area and I think we're blending in when suddenly both of my kids slip and smash their heads on the concrete floor of the splash pad at the same time. They're screaming and EVERYONE is staring at us. The club staff comes over with ice and makes a big fuss and forces us to file an incident report, mortifying me and the mom who invited us. Needless to say she hasn't invited us to play together again."
