Courtney Lester, a mom of three from Georgetown, Kentucky, was just minding her business, shopping at Walmart with her three LOs in tow last month, when a stranger approached her, stating, "I feel sorry for you, you have your hands full with all those kids." The comment was so obnoxious, it led to Lester, 23, writing a now-viral response on Facebook that has wracked up over 12,000 shares and 22K reactions.
"When he said it, I was honestly too shocked to react," Lester tells CafeMom. "I hear that I have my hands full often, but hearing someone say 'I feel sorry for you' really bothered me. I tried to let it go while we continued shopping, but the more I thought on it, the more I realized that it was not okay. My husband said, 'I can't believe he just said that. That was really rude!' When he said that, I knew I wasn't overreacting. I have several mommy friends on Facebook that I knew would understand how upset I was, so I felt like I needed to share with them."
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In her post, Lester had more than a few choice words — and a personal confession — for the opinionated stranger:
"What you can't tell is that I lost 2 babies before being blessed with my last 2, so if you want to feel sorry for me, there's the only reason why you should. My children are blessings. They aren't perfectly modeled citizens because, well, they're children. Sometimes they're loud, sometimes they misbehave, and sometimes they have complete meltdowns. However, you didn't even see that side of them. What you saw was a young couple with a 4-year-old singing a song, a 2-year-old sitting quietly in the buggy, and a newborn sleeping in his baby carrier. If that is your definition of having your hands full, I feel sorry for YOU."
She explains in her post that while some days she "can't wait for bedtime" — and that her children do keep her on her toes, as "one of them always needs something" — she's "never viewed them as an inconvenience or a reason for someone to 'feel sorry'" for her.
"Even on days when they won't listen, have meltdowns, and when it seems like nothing I do is good enough, I have never felt sorry for myself and I don't expect others to either," Lester concluded in her post. "If having 3 kids automatically makes my hands full, so be it … But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is more full than my hands could ever be."
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The response to Lester's heartfelt message has been huge, as parents well beyond the moms she initially meant to share her story with have related to her experience. One commenter said, "I really don't understand when strangers make comments on someone else's family size."
Another wrote, "My babies are my life and I wouldn't trade the sleepless nights, the days where you might not get to fully 'bathe' and the chaos of screaming kids and a messy house for anything in this world. Keep doing what you do … you are awesome!"
"I'm truly humbled by the positive responses I've received," Lester tells CafeMom. "I want people to understand that it isn't okay to make comments about the size of someone's family — unless positive or uplifting, of course. You shouldn't feel sorry for someone because of their children."
Preach, mama!
