Sleepovers are often viewed as a rite of passage for children. Once they get old enough to sleep through the night and keep the homesickness at bay, many parents see their kids as being ready to finally spend the night with friends. Sleepovers are such a huge fixture in so many of our childhoods that a lot of us have never considered not allowing them. But after putting a ban on sleepovers in his home, this concerned dad is urging parents to consider doing it too.
Dad Tim Challies says that he and his wife, Aileen, made the decision to disallow sleepovers when their children were still very young. With this rule, their kids are prohibited from spending the night with other people, and the family does not host other children in their home overnight. In a recent Facebook video, Tim explains why he believes banning sleepovers serves is a way to keep children safe.
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The dad says that he and his wife both attended many sleepovers as kids, and while neither of them had been harmed during one, they knew people who had. "Either someone had abused them or hurt them or they had encountered things that they should not have encountered," he explains. "For many people, their first experience with pornography was at a sleepover. Their first experience with sexuality or drunkenness was at a sleepover."
The father says wanting to keep his kids from experiencing these things was the primary concern when he and his wife made their decision to refuse sleepovers. "Often, I think, we put very young children in situations they simply don't have the capacity, the maturity to deal with," he said. "And [if] someone compels them to do something, encourages them to do something [bad] … they end up suffering."
The father shared that his family's decision to forego sleepovers hasn't always been easy. His kids don't understanding why they aren't allowed to do something so "normal," and they also catch flak from offended parents who think Tim is "being way overprotective" or "judging" them.
But Tim also says that after going public with his stance in a post on his blog, the outpouring of support and devastating stories he received from other parents taught him and his wife that there's no real "upside" to sleepovers. "Mostly what they get out of a sleepover is a grouchy day the next day and probably a sick stomach from eating too much," he said. "The downside can be a lifetime of suffering."
Many have commented on the dad's thoughtful Facebook post, sharing that they enjoyed his take on the subject:
Of course, not everyone agreed with his line of thinking, expressing that taking away sleepovers means taking away kids' fun:
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Tim is clear about the fact that he doesn't expect every parent to do exactly what he does, nor does he expect every family to run the same way. He does encourage parents to take all steps possible to protect their children. "Think about it," he says. "Apply wisdom, heed your conscience, and make a decision."