Girl Scout’s PSA Reminds Parents Not To Force Girls To Hug Anyone During the Holidays

The holiday season is officially here, and although there are so many things to plan — the meals, the presents, the decorations — there is something else parents should be thinking about as they prepare for the endless throngs of guests and family that we'll be spending time with at dinners or parties. Should kids be forced to hug people during the holidays? Well, an annual viral PSA by the Girl Scouts of the USA  is once again arguing no. 

We've all been in that situation where a family member wants a hug or kiss from our kids, who truthfully seem a little reluctant to dole out the affection. And although it seems like the answer is to make them give Uncle Joe a hug anyway, the Girl Scouts argue that this could be setting our kids up for "the wrong idea about consent and physical affection."

"Think of it this way," a piece on the official Girl Scouts website explained, "telling your child that she owes someone a hug either just because she hasn't seen this person in a while or because they gave her a gift can set the stage for her questioning whether she 'owes' another person any type of physical affection when they've bought her dinner or done something else seemingly nice for her later in life."

Not to mention that even though children have a support system to protect them from unwanted physical contact, training them to gauge when touching is wanted or not wanted and then give in to the expectation can hinder their own sense of their bodily boundaries.

Of course, not everyone agrees. On the Girl Scouts Facebook page, many commenters over the years have taken issue with the idea that girls might think they "owe" affection to someone just because they were forced to hug their grandpa.

But others fought back, arguing that kids have just as much right to decide what they do with their bodies as adults do.

Girl Scouts' developmental psychologist, Dr. Andrea Bastiani Archibald, points out in the piece that consent may seem like a "grown-up" topic that doesn't apply to kids. "But the lessons girls learn when they're young about setting physical boundaries and expecting them to be respected last a lifetime and can influence how she feels about herself and her body as she gets older," she wrote. "Plus, sadly, we know that some adults prey on children, and teaching your daughter about consent early on can help her understand her rights, know when lines are being crossed, and when to go to you for help."

There are many other ways kids — both girls and boys — can show affection with friends and family that don't involve touch, the Girl Scouts piece explains. For example, you can teach kids to tell people they genuinely missed them, inquire about how they're doing, and offer a high-five or a thumbs-up as a way to be respectful while still maintaining their boundaries. And, who knows? They might choose a hug! But no matter where you side on this debate, it's important to give kids the option and carefully consider what we teach them about physical contact.