In-laws are a tricky subject. While we love them, they can also be pretty damn difficult to deal with. There are countless horror stories out there of mothers-in-law who are pushy, aggressive, and completely ignorant of boundaries. One struggling mom and wife is begging for advice after sharing that her mother-in-law lives right next door, stops by without asking, and has even taken it upon herself to wash her daughter-in-law's underwear.
The woman, who goes by MaisieAva on Mumsnet, says that her negative feelings about her MIL make her feel like a bad person.
According to MaisieAva, she started noticing the boundary issues when she and her husband moved in next door to his parents. What started off as the MIL popping by the house often (and at random) quickly turned into her invading their personal space once she got a key to the house. "She would do our washing even when she was asked not to. She changed our bed. She put my underwear away in my drawers," the frustrated mom explained. "I mean to some it probably sounds a dream, but it just doesn't feel right or sit well with me."
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The MIL even took it upon herself to reorganize decorations during the holidays and began making decisions about the couple's household without consulting them. "It probably sounds really small and pathetic but it really bothers me," wrote MaisieAva.
The mom says that she understands her mother-in-law is trying to be helpful, but she only succeeds in suffocating a couple in need of their own space. MaisieAva is afraid of confronting her mother-in-law for fear of causing a rift in her family — so she asked the other users on the message board to offer up their best advice. "It's all just literally too close to home for me and it's consuming my thoughts way too much to the point where I'm feeling pretty unhappy."
Finding the entire situation cringeworthy, other users didn't hesitate to put in their two cents.
Most people wasted no time in telling MaisieAva to pack up and move.
They insisted that the situation would only get worse, and that relocating is the only way to get her mother-in-law to respect boundaries.
But in case that option is a little too "drastic," some offered helpful alternative plans.
One user came up with the clever idea to leave pamphlets and brochures of home listings around to send the mother-in-law the subliminal message that the family is looking for space.
Many users didn't really have any advice -- they just had horror stories of their own to share.
One woman wrote, "My mother did this. Keys to our house. Always popped up at the window in our garden, until we put up a fence/gate. Same with my SIL too. Changed the locks eventually. They were livid we didn't give them a key!"
Another woman said her mother-in-law had essentially turned her life into a never-ending episode of Everybody Loves Raymond. "You are entitled to boundaries and space and basically a life of your own as an adult," she reminded the original poster. "Some people just don't understand boundaries."
And a lot of the women told her it should be her husband's job to get his mom in line.
It was even implied that the situation might bleed over and affect her marriage if she didn't push her husband to do something about it. "I still can feel resentment towards my husband if I dwell on it," wrote one woman who had a similar problem.
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Some of the advice MaisieAva received was pretty good, but the rest ... not so much.
It's probably not realistic to pack up her family and move away on a dime, but changing the locks, being really passive-aggressive, or pawning the issue off on her husband are definitely doable.
Hopefully, she's able to get a handle on the issue with her hellish mother-in-law before she really goes crazy.
