There's a lot of pressure for parents to make birthday parties as perfect as possible. You're supposed to pick a cool place, have awesome activities, serve great food, and give out some next-level party favors when it's all over. But sometimes even trying to go above and beyond doesn't pay off. One mom learned this the hard way after she was shamed for the goody bags she gave out at her daughter’s birthday party — and the reasoning behind it is so ridiculous.
The mom posted about the bizarre encounter on the popular parenting site Mumsnet.
She shared that her daughter had a small sleepover with four friends to celebrate her eleventh birthday. With cake, pizza, and activities costing less than £50 (about $70), the mom decided to go all out on the goody bags.
By "all out," we're talking monogrammed notebooks, pens, some nail polish, and a to-go slice of cake. The mom said each bag cost about £12.50 (about $17). She didn't include any precious diamonds, designer puppies, or fat wads of cash, but sometime after her daughter's party, one of the girls' moms made her return her goody bag because they were "too generous" and she "couldn't accept it." According to the poster, her daughter's friend "told her that her mum says I try too hard." Understandably the mom says she was "mortified but also livid … I definitely don't want to impress her or anyone else."
She asked the other moms on the Mumsnet forum if she was being unreasonable with her goody bags or if the other mom was way out of line for her actions.
Most of the parents in the thread were quick to point out how weird the entire situation was.
Some reassured the mom that her goody bags were really thoughtful and not at all over-the-top.
A lot of people pointed out that the other woman's actions were next-level rude.
Some called the other mom "obnoxious" and said that getting her daughter to do her dirty work for her was pretty gross.
"If the mom had an issue with it she should have returned it to you directly, not got her daughter to do it," one poster commented.
Others had a different opinion, and agreed that the mom throwing the party went overboard with the goody bags.
A few parents said that her actions were "overgenerous" and embarrassing.
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Some said that the mom who returned the bag was probably angry that she couldn't be as "showy" for her kid's birthday.
But even those who thought she was "being extra" said that returning a goody bag was going a little too far.
We're not entirely sure what that mom found so offensive about these goody bags. At less than $20 a pop for only four kids, they actually contained some cool stuff — nothing the mom listed was at all over-the-top. Feeling inadequate about parents who may have the resources to do things "bigger and better" than you is normal, but trying to tell another mom that she "tries too hard" is one of the most ridiculous forms of mom-shaming there is. The last thing parents need to be worried about is whether or not including pens and notebooks in their kids' birthday party goody bags is going to get them shunned at the next PTA meeting.
