To Sprinkle or Not to Sprinkle: The *Real* Deal With Second Baby Showers

Lilly Holland

When I was pregnant with my first child, the thought of a baby shower was anxiety-inducing. Going through the wedding process and all of the events focused on me was enough — I didn’t need another occasion where I was the person on display, especially when I was pregnant and couldn’t enjoy a glass of wine along with everyone else.

I pushed my debbie-downer feelings aside when I realized how excited my friends and family were to celebrate me and my giant belly.

My mom, sister, and sister-in-law threw a beautiful shower at my own apartment, per my request, that just included my closest friends. It was lovely — beautiful and personal without being over the top or too baby shower-y. No games.

It’s a given that someone will try to throw you a baby shower the first go around, but subsequent pregnancies are less clear.

Lilly Holland

Is there a full-fledged baby shower in Baby #2’s honor? Does the mom make a registry? Who should host this celebration?

Some say it’s tacky to have showers for additional pregnancies. Some say it’s only tacky if your second baby is coming after your first has outgrown all the baby gear or if you’re having another baby of the same gender. Well, it’s 2018 — there are no rules anymore. Even Emily Post gives the green light on showers for second and third babies

Further, whether it’s your first or 21st, babies require a lot of “stuff.” And that “stuff” costs a lot of money. Even if you already have the big-ticket items (stroller, crib), this new baby is still going to need diapers, wipes, clothes, ointments, etc.

We’ve been trying for baby #2 for about a year.

If you’d asked me a few years ago what I thought of baby showers after your first, I probably would have rolled my eyes and laughed, “Who wants another baby shower?!” However, as I’ve realized over the past year, pregnancy is not always a simple plus sign on a stick.

Sometimes babies are easily conceived, and pregnancies are uncomplicated. Sometimes they are not.

Lilly Holland

Some couples go through awful struggles in their journey to have a baby, whether it’s their first or fourth. You never know what kind of journey someone has been on to have this baby. Healthy pregnancies and babies entering the world are joyous occasions. As long as mom is on board, why not celebrate this new life?  

Personally, a sip and see is more of my style — like a cocktail party in honor of your baby’s arrival, which is usually thrown by you, the parents. A little more modern and fun. Plus, after nine long months of being the sober one at the party, mom gets to partake in the bubbly too.

Another way to jazz up the traditional shower is to invite the guys and make it coed.

At a Jack and Jill shower there are two of you to “ooh” and “ahh” over the gifts. Both mom and dad get to feel the love (and write the thank-you notes). I adore my female friends and relatives and cherish what little “girl time” I get these days. However, especially when the guest list is a mix of family and friends who don’t necessarily know each other, I’d much rather invite the husbands too.

Before the baby is born, after the baby is born. Girls only or Jack and Jill. Games or no games … babies are a reason to celebrate.

And if your style is one-and-done, this second, third, fourth, etc. baby won’t be totally snubbed — people love to buy baby gifts regardless of whether there’s a party or not.