Marriages and relationships end for all sorts of reasons, but the one most people just can't abide is cheating. Cheating is seen by most as the ultimate betrayal, especially when a couple has children who depend on them. That's why the Internet is losing it's collective sh*t over a recent essay by a man who says he dropped his wife and two young children like a bad habit after he fell in love with a coworker 10 years his junior — and ultimately, he blames his ex-wife.
In an essay on Mamamia, the dad wrote that he had "a lovely wife, two beautiful children, a big house in a nice area and a good job."
The problem, the dad wrote, is that everything in his marriage changed after he and his wife had kids. He said life with children was "exhausting" and "relentless" and his wife spent too much time thinking about their kids. "Instead of trying to enjoy some rare time together, my ex-wife would use the time to boil and puree vegetables so that the kids would have some healthy meals in the freezer," he wrote.
Then, he met a girl at work who was "incredibly genuine, raw and endearing (and yes, pretty)." They developed a "deep and trusting" friendship, and then "boom, I was in love with this girl. Add a work function and alcohol, and shortly after we were together."
It is here that we will collectively pause to release all pent-up eye rolls. Go ahead. Let it out.
So, the dude left his wife and children for Miss Raw and Endearing.
"We did things that I hadn’t done in years — we would stay up all night talking, stay in bed all day sharing our thoughts and life experiences," he wrote. "For her, just being with me was enough. This was not a feeling I’d experienced with my wife since our first child was born."
Um, yeah, maybe because she was busy taking care of your children while you were out developing a "deep and trusting relationship" in a seedy motel room with your coworker.
Unsurprisingly, the relationship with the coworker didn't last either -- because she had anxiety and it was "incredibly challenging" to deal with.
But instead of having even an ounce of self-awareness about the fact that he is possibly a selfish human being who can't empathize with other people's emotions, he drove the whole essay home by saying that ultimately his wife ruined their marriage by not giving him enough attention.
He even issued a warning to other women: "So please, wives, do your best to connect with your husbands at an emotional level. Many men might not open up at first, so be prepared to persist, be the one that’s vulnerable first if you need to be. We need to feel understood, we need to feel connected."
In the comments on Mamamia's Facebook page, people are tearing this guy's story to shreds.
They're calling him selfish, a narcissist, and slamming him for only thinking about himself.
And they're wondering if he ever even bothered to talk to his wife about his unhappiness or if he just expected her to be a mind reader.
Instead of being mad at his ex for changing, one person said, maybe he should understand that he didn't change enough.
After all, anyone with kids knows things are different once they come along. And yes, it is completely possible to get swept up in caring for the children and start to neglect a relationship. But that doesn't mean it is only one person's responsibility to fix it and the other person gets to run away.
Sometimes marriages end, and sometimes that winds up being better for everyone. There's nothing wrong with divorcing, starting over, or leaving a bad relationship. But to write an entire essay blaming your ex for your decision to cheat? That's a pretty clear sign that it was never your ex who had the problem.