When our little ones are babies, we have a few precious years where we can get away with doing the bare minimum. Relax — I don't mean in terms of actual important parenting. I'm talking about getting away with low-key Christmases, relaxed birthday parties, and the like. Because answer truthfully: If your kid is presented with an expensive toy or a cardboard box, what are they going for?
Exactly.
Even I, a relatively new mom of a 9-month-old, know to take advantage of this precious, fleeting time. Being a mother is hectic as it is, so I don't pressure myself to make everything an elaborate display when my son won't remember a thing. I'm saving my energy for when he will.
So imagine my surprise when I saw a note on my kid's day care door informing us that on February 14, they'd be exchanging valentines with his class.
Truthfully, my husband was the first to notice.
"Did you see this? You have to bring in Valentine's cards for the whole class."
I looked at him, puzzled.
"Firstly: What? Aren't the kids all under 1? Secondly, oh I have to do it? Why don't you do it? You noticed it."
He rolled his eyes because we both know I'm gonna freakin' be the one to do it.
Upon further reading I saw that I was instructed to give generic, unaddressed cards to make it "easier" on the staff.
I need to reiterate: MY KID ISN'T EVEN A YEAR OLD YET. And neither are the kids in his room. So why, pray tell, must I get them cards they can't read?
Because let me tell you a little about what my mornings look like the days we have day care. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. while my husband showers. I make all of the kid's bottles and food for the day while I get coffee going, praying my kid will sleep for at least a half hour more. My husband hops out, I hop in, I shower and get ready for work. By this time, my husband has been caring for and dressing the baby, so I finish packing him up. We drop off our son by 6:30, peel out of the parking lot to make it to the train, which will take us two hours to our jobs in the big city. Mornings are exhausting. Nights are equally as hectic.
I can almost guarantee every other working parent in my kid's class has something of a similar story.
So why do these places put extra pressure on us?
I honestly get it for the older kids. I do. Not only do they generally understand the overall concept of cards and Valentine's Day, but they can help make them. They can be part of it. It can be a fun activity for a parent and the child to make something together.
For me and my other sleep-deprived parental peers who are managing life for kids under a year old? We have to do it somewhere in between making dinner, getting them to bed, and not falling asleep ourselves. Why, dear God, do we have to add to it?
And the thing is, they know we'll all do it because none of us wants to be 'that' parent who didn't.
The truth is, I complain, but I know that come hell or high water on February 13, I'll be filling out 11 cards and setting at least four cell phone reminders to make sure I bring them.
I know it's not a huge deal. I know they aren't asking much. But seriously, it's the women in their first year of motherhood who need the extra treat — such as chocolate, flowers, or wine — and not the teething kiddos who will just give themselves a paper cut.
Editor's note: The writer wishes to remain anonymous because she usually loves her day care.
