Preteen years are both delicate and informative. As young girls are starting to learn about and come to terms with their changing bodies, the last thing they want to do is be made to feel uncomfortable about them. That's why one mom is furious after her 9-year-old daughter's gym class teacher publicly shamed her and her four friends for not wearing bras yet.
The anonymous mom explained that her girl randomly came home asking for a bra for school, even though she hasn't started developing yet -- and didn't want to wear one before.
In a frustrated post on Mumsnet, the mom shared that her girl's PE teacher told her and her group of friends that they now need to wear crop tops or sports bras to class. This apparently stemmed from an incident when the girls were doing gymnastics and their T-shirts fell down while doing handstands.
But mom is pretty pissed that the teacher would single these girls out, especially since they haven't started going through puberty yet, so they have no need for a bra. "I can only assume this is to cover up their 9-year-old nipples for fear of … what exactly?" she wrote. "Are the boys to cover their nipples also?"
But what mom is most upset about is that her girl now feels uncomfortable about a part of her body when it was never a thought before.
"Now my [daughter] thinks she has to cover up her non existent breasts," she commented. [My daughter] did ask for some crop tops at the start of current school year. Not a problem. She stopped wearing them as she found them uncomfortable. Fair enough."
But now her child feels like she has to wear them even if she doesn't like the way they feel, just to please her teacher. "She's got years ahead of her for wearing uncomfortable undergarments (if she chooses)," she wrote. "And as I've already stated, none of the girls are in 'need' of support as yet."
Mom also explained that she doesn't have a problem with a girl that age wearing a sports bra, if they need it, and feels that it wasn't her teacher's place to say anything. "None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things," she commented. "I can understand it being reasonable at 9 for girls who have started growing breasts," she wrote. "If that was the case surely the way to go about it would be to have a discreet word with that child's parents rather than a blanket rule for all."
Some people see nothing wrong with the teacher's action and think he or she was trying to be kind by telling everyone and not just one student.
"I suppose the teacher sees it as similar to suggesting to the whole class that they might want to start using deodorant — probably unnecessary for most, but kinder than singling out those who do need it," one person commented.
But mom isn't buying that line of thinking. "Why in the world should it be made a uniform item just because one or two in her year have need of it?" she commented. "Should they all have glasses so a few don't feel singled out? Shall we give them all braces regardless of need?"
Others agree that the teacher was right -- adult teachers and male students don't need to see girls' nipples.
But some think the teacher completely crossed the line and should have left this conversation up to the parents.
And mom agrees with this. "This wasn't even on [my daughter's] radar. Now it is. That makes me annoyed," she wrote. "Now she wants to wear the crop tops she deemed uncomfortable because this teacher has made her feel like her chest is not to be seen."
Others think a simple solution was overlooked: Just tell the kids to tuck in their shirts.
But mom has mixed feelings about the tuck-in technique too. She agrees that a blanket rule like this could be good for both boys and girls "in the name of neatness, health, safety" but she still isn't sold. "Even the tucked in thing bothers me. It's the suggestion that nipples are something to be hidden away," she wrote.
In the end, many agree that when to start wearing a bra should be completely up to mom and daughter.
Mom also emailed the school letting them know about the situation and they responded that it was just a casual comment. "I'm still of the opinion that it's not the schools place to make this suggestion and am pissed off that now my daughter thinks she ought to cover up where previously she hadn't given it a second thought," she added.
