An unexpected pregnancy can be the ultimate test for any relationship; either you're both excited for the news that you're about to become parents or you are totally not. For one man, however, his girlfriend not only surprised him with the news that she's pregnant but she also later tricked him into believing she had a devastating miscarriage to "test" him and see how much he wanted to be a father. At just 21 years old, the boyfriend was somewhat relieved that he wasn't going to be a dad just yet, but to his girlfriend, this was the "wrong answer" (because she was still pregnant) and now, he's the one in trouble, not her for her major lies.
According to the man, his relationship has been complicated ever since his girlfriend found out she was pregnant three months ago.
"It was a big surprise since we take precautions (condoms, birth control) but she said it might've been a broken condom + she was bad about staying on birth control routinely," the man wrote online. "Regardless, it was confirmed she's pregnant. I'm 21 and she's 20."
In a post on Reddit, the anonymous dad-to-be admitted that he didn't exactly take the news well when his girlfriend first told him that she was pregnant. "I became surly, didn't talk, and just kept to myself for 2 whole days right after she told me," he wrote. "I was terrified and did NOT want to be a father at all."
But his 20-year-old girlfriend was hoping for a different response. "I think she expected happiness from both of us as she imagined I'd scoop her up and kiss her and cry tears of happiness after hearing she's pregnant," he added.
Then things got even worse when his girlfriend asked to get engaged before the baby came.
Though the man swears he was there for his pregnant girlfriend "100 percent" through her doctor's appointments and whatever else she needed for her pregnancy, he admitted that he wasn't psyched about getting married just yet and dragged his feet. "I guess it was more emotional connection that I just couldn't force through and she could tell," he added.
That is when his girlfriend did something desperate and told her boyfriend that her pregnancy was no longer a problem: She had miscarried. "A few weeks ago she sits me down and tells me she lost the baby. She says she had stomach cramps and then she miscarried," he wrote. "I was asking her a lot of health questions (I didn't know if a miscarriage this late into a pregnancy was normal?) and she kinda waves me off and is like don't worry I'm ok."
With the pressure of a baby off his shoulders, the man explained that things did start to get better in their relationship, which is when his girlfriend asked him if he was happy about the miscarriage. So he told the truth and admitted that he was a bit relieved not to become a dad just yet. And that's when things blew up …
Furious, his girlfriend then told him that her "miscarriage" was a test and that he had failed. BIG TIME.
"WRONG answer. She starts screaming, crying, throwing things at me. She says she's not miscarried, that it was a test to see my dedication and I've failed it completely," he wrote. The next three days were even worse as the two continued to argue and his girlfriend would "randomly throw cups of icy water on me if I dozed off" when trying to get some sleep.
The dad-to-be called off his relationship but vowed to still support her when it comes to the baby, but he's feeling pressure from everyone that he's the one who is in the wrong. "Now friends and family are all telling ME that I overreacted, that its just pregnancy hormones and could I blame her?" he wrote. "Everyone's saying things like 'you can't leave a 20-year-old girl to be a single mother' but I know that if I married her it could be the worst mistake of my life."
So, is he wrong for calling it quits?
Online, people in the comments had one major piece of advice for the man: Run.
One person thought this soon-to-be dad had no obligation to be with his girlfriend. "All you owe her is child support and to be a decent father for that child," the person wrote. "No one should be forcing you into a shot gun wedding and no amount of hormones should make you treat your partner like that. The situation she's in is her own damn fault."
"Stand your ground, don't let anyone guilt you into giving her another chance," another person commented. "I promise being a separated parent is so much better than being stuck in an unhappy relationship."
"Anyone who pulls a stunt like that is insane," someone else agreed. "You were right to get out of that."
But some people thought the man had no idea what his girlfriend was going through and needed to slow his roll.
"Just cause you are 21 and not ready and freaking out. Doesn't mean it's just you," one person wrote. "She is also 20 and freaking out. She wasn't planning to get pregnant and now the guy [she was dating] is the father of her baby."
And someone else thought the man was being too harsh on his girlfriend. "She is DEFINITELY not crazy, abusive or any of the things people who seem to have never known a pregnant woman on the comments are saying," the person wrote. "She's just pregnant. And to be fair, you are being supportive economically but not emotionally, you have been more than obvious on the fact that you don't want this baby from the start and that's taking a toll on her. Give yourself some time to think, think about the implications of what you just did, and see if there's a better way of dealing with this."
Another person felt like the Original Poster and his girlfriend were just too young to handle this pregnancy news well. "She's a kid, you're a kid, she's scared about the world of responsibility inching down onto her shoulders and is scrambling for one form of stability. She's hoping you can provide that. Let me reiterate, she is scared," they person wrote. "If she was worth your time being your girlfriend, she can be worth your time in the future down whatever road you take your relationship. It's likely she can get better with rational discourse and support from your family units or a licensed therapist."
In the end, the man wrote that breaking up with his girlfriend has made him more confident that he'll have this whole dad thing on lock.
"I am hoping I could be a better father now because the stress of the relationship won't be weighing on me," he wrote later in the thread. "I think my ex definitely expected a completely different response from me after the test, so it was like a nuclear meltdown with her and her family after I said I'm leaving."
But the man was undeterred. "I'm definitely going to be there for my child," he wrote. "No ifs about that."
These stories are based on posts found on Reddit. Reddit is a user-generated social news aggregation, web content rating, and discussion website where registered members submit content to the site and can up- or down-vote the content. The accuracy and authenticity of each story cannot be confirmed by our staff.
