The relationship your in-laws have with your kids is so special. Between birthdays and holidays, grandma and grandpa play a huge role in your little ones' lives! But one mom on the Internet thinks her mother-in-law is severely overstepping as she only wants to spend time with her grandkid when mom and dad aren't around. Now the mom is looking for advice on what to do about it: Is she overreacting or is this totally out of line?
The mom shared that every time her mother-in-law wants to see her granddaughter, she only wants to spend time with her alone.
In a letter written to the advice column Care and Feeding, an anonymous mom shared that though visits from her mother-in-law are rare, whenever she does come to town she only wants to spend time with her 10-year-old granddaughter completely alone. No parents allowed.
 "It has always made me uneasy that her time with all my in-laws has to be alone," the mom wrote. "My husband and I are pushed far to the side of all time when they are in town."
Although it's a little understandable that Grandma would relish a little "Grandma and me" time, the mom made a decent point that it's straight-up weird that her MIL threw a private "Christmas morning" for her daughter.Â
"I explained to my husband I wasnât OK with this for several reasons, including but not limited to: I want to see what she gets, and take pictures, and am not OK with being out of the picture," the mom wrote.
But things really got strange when the MIL came to visit for her granddaughter's birthday & gave her all of her gifts privately.
Even thought the mom threw a birthday dinner for her girl, she did find it really, really strange that her MIL went behind her back and gave her all of her gifts when the two of them were alone.Â
"Am I crazy, or is this weird?" she asked.
Some people agreed that this was disrespectful behavior.
On Facebook other parents wrote in with their verdict on this mom's tricky situation.Â
"Nope. Just nope. As a grandparent I have every right to spend whatever time the parents decide I can spend and nothing more," one person wrote in the comments. "I don't get to say that I'm having the child without you there all the time. I'm not making holidays behind the parents back with other family members that is creepy level (expletive)."
"This MIL is being highly disrespectful," commented someone else.Â
And someone else thought that one detail of the mom's story was very strange. "For me, the big issue here is that the parents aren't allowed, but the uncle is? Nah, that's weird," they wrote.
But not everyone agreed. Some people thought that this mom should just let her daughter enjoy one-on-one time with grandma.
"Itâs not weird," one person argued. "Let them have alone time. Itâs a few times a year not everyday wtf … most people would be glad for the break."
Someone else thought that perhaps grandma just wants to let her inner child out. "Â I don't think it's inherently weird to want alone time to bond with a grandchild," they commented. "How many of us have made up silly jingles and dances to make a baby laugh that we'd maybe not want an adult audience for? Unless you think there is some real danger give grandma some solo time to make memories with the kiddos. They will treasure those moments too."
And a third person agreed that the mom just needs to let her daughter and grandma bond. "I donât think itâs that weird either," she wrote. "I have some really fond memories of alone time with my grandparents….those are the times I remember, not the times when my parents were with me."
As far as the advice columnist was concerned: This is straight up bananas behavior.
Columnist Nicole Cliffe responded that the letter writer needs to set her mother-in-law straight and, more importantly, she needs to get her husband to be on her team. "It ends today," she wrote.
"That âChristmas Morningâ (expletive) she pulled? Not on my watch," Cliffe added. She advised the mom that from now on, "you go where your daughter goes."
"Act pleasantly bemused when your mother-in-law tries to reinstate the old rules, and if she asks why things have changed you can say, âOh, they just grow up so fast, I want to be there for every minute,â ideally while staring her dead in the face and channeling Charles Bronson," she continued. "I insist you email me about developments in this situation."
