We're (obviously) totally on board with the idea that a baby is an absolute blessing and a joy, but that, uh, doesn't mean that there aren't some major, obvious downsides of having a baby, too — not the least of which being the incredible lack of sleep that many of us experience. This can start during pregnancy, and for many, lasts basically the rest of their lives (or at least well into their teenage years), but it's definitely at its peak during those early days of living with a perfect but wide awake newborn. This guide can help some during that stage, but is also geared for moms with babies (and in many cases, older kids, too!). Yes, a lot of these are easier said than done — for instance, creating a real sleep schedule takes discipline, which is often hard when there's a million and a half things to do.
But while no one is judging if some of these tips just can't happen, they'll definitely make life easier if parents can stick to them. In related news, check out this story, How Can I Get My Baby To Sleep Through The Night? which is a great guide to helping figure out how to get kids to actually go to sleep — and more importantly, stay asleep. For parents with kids sharing a bedroom, we have some sleep tips to help mom and dad figure out how to get everyone the rest they need. And because no one is perfect, mama might be making mistakes when putting baby to bed. We know it's really, really easy to make a mistake with the LO's bedtime schedule — we've made tons.
Ask for Help Around the Home
A lot of times, people aren't sure how to help and just offer to "do anything," and we know it can be hard to ignore our instilled social graces and really ask for help, but it's OK to ask close friends and family for assistance with chores, meal prep, cleaning, and other tasks so that downtime when the baby's sleeping can be downtime for mom, as well.
Eat Healthy Snacks
Have some healthy snacks, like granola bars, sunflower seeds, and peanut butter and crackers, available in the baby's room to munch on while the baby's getting a late-night feeding. This can help increase sleepiness and make waking up less terrible, too.
Don't Feel Pressured by Guests
When friends and family come over to visit, don't feel the need to play the part of the gracious host. Ask good friends and family members who are understanding to come over and take care of the baby for a few hours so mom can grab a nap.
Take Opportunities to Sleep When the Baby Does
Yes, there are a million things to get done, but it's OK for the laundry and the dishes to wait, we promise — instead, when the baby is down for a nap, take it as an opportunity to catch a nap for mom, too. She deserves it.
Consider Ditching Social Media
The whole of Facebook isn't entitled to updates and photos of Brand New Baby, no matter how much they ask for them… plus, the blue light from the screen makes it much harder to sleep. Take a breather from social for a bit if it's causing stress.
Take a Little Lie-Down
Even if sleeping isn't an option — it's easy to feel too keyed-up to get enough zzz's with a new baby, even when we want to — it's important to take time out to put our feet up and lay down for a while, which can really help.
Get Help With Late-Night Feedings
Ask a family member or partner to take over the late-night feedings so mama can catch up on those zzz's. For moms who are bottle-feeding, this is simpler, but with a little planning and a pump, it can work out for moms who are breastfeeding, too.
Consider a Bassinet in the Bedroom for Newborns
Rather than going all the way to the baby's room every time she cries, consider picking up a bassinet and placing it next to the bed so the baby can be fed the moment she wakes up — and so going back to sleep after is much easier.
Pick & Choose Guests Carefully
Yes, everyone wants to meet the baby, but it's so important for moms to have boundaries and limit guests to the people who are willing to be helpful — not the ones who just sit around and expect to be waited on.
Avoid Nicotine & Alcohol
We know, we know, this is the least fun piece of advice we've ever given in our lives. But nicotine may feel relaxing, but it's actually a stimulant, and alcohol may feel like it puts us to sleep, but it actually doesn't induce the kind of quality sleep we actually need to be rested.
Consider Putting Babies in Their Own Rooms ASAP
We're not judging parents who choose to go with co-sleeping at all, but once a baby is past the infancy stage, putting a kiddo in his own room can mean a lot more sleep for parents — which can be helpful for everyone.
Drop Extra Responsibilities
Moms often feel a lot of pressure to keep up with extra responsibilities in their lives, even when they're having trouble getting the basics done and sleeping more than a couple of hours a night. PTA meetings, friends with broken hearts, urgent emails from work despite being on parental leave … these can all take a back seat.
Create a Solid Bedtime Routine
Once babies are past the infant stage, creating a bedtime routine for ourselves can really help. No matter what (or how basic) a bedtime routine is, the fact of its existence can help get our minds ready for sleep.
Consider a Mattress Topper
A brand-new mattress is rarely in the budget for new parents, but given that many moms suffer from horrible back pain after giving birth, helping out the back is a good idea — and a new latex mattress topper is almost as good as a new mattress, and costs about 1/10 as much.
Create a Dark Bedroom
For a lot of people, the darker the bedroom, the better we sleep. Buying a set of blackout curtains can really help get some extra shut-eye — even if it's just a few more minutes than would happen otherwise.
Take Turns Waking Up
Sometimes our partners aren't as great at waking up as we are, but establishing a turn-taking system in advance and resolutely sticking to it can make all the difference in not being so sleep-deprived that we make big mistakes. The same goes for getting to sleep in on the weekends.
Set an Early Bedtime for Mom, Too
Once kids get on a semi-regular sleep schedule, setting as early a bedtime as possible is critical –and so is sticking to it. But this doesn't just apply to kids. Moms can go to bed as early as they can, too — it'll really help with those early wake-ups.
Invite a Family Member to Stay for a Bit
Right after a baby is born, if there's an especially helpful family member who can really help out around the house (and not just expect to be waited on), invite her to stay for a week or two. She can help take care of the home so mom can take care of herself and her newborn.
Try Meditation
A lot of moms experience too many rushing thoughts about what they need to get done during the day, and this can make it really hard to fall asleep at night, no matter how tired they are. Although it may seem hokey, give a guided meditation app a try — it may help.
Avoid Caffeine in the Afternoon
As much as another cup of joe may seem like a good idea for any stressed-out, exhausted mom, it'll also make getting to sleep later way harder (and can also make anxiety worse). Try to avoid anything but decaf after noon.
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