I wanted to take a few minutes to share something incredible that happened today. This afternoon, I picked up Andrew from school/ABA and we got on the metro headed home. We ride the metro every day to and from school, so Andrew is used to it. It is usually about 45 minutes to an hour, depending on delays and whatnot, but as long I keep him occupied with his iPad or my phone, he will sit patiently in our seat. Of course, I do always have fruit snacks or candy handy, in case he starts trying to get up or move. Iām all about doing anything to keep him happy and sitting.
For those of you that donāt know, when you have a child with autism, your child will have some good days and then they will have some bad ones.
Today was one of those bad days. Andrew's biggest behavior problem (that he has been working on by learning calming strategies) is that sometimes when he gets upset, it will go two steps too far, and escalate into a full-on meltdown/breakdown.
Today, Andrew was persistent on wanting to get out of the seat to stand in the middle of train while moving and running back and forth through it (which of course if he did he would fall). I kept trying everything to get him to sit, but he just wouldnāt (this fight went on for 20 minutes).
That is when his regular toddler tantrum turned into a meltdown, or what I call, the point of no return for him.
He started rolling on the floor, screaming, his shoe fell off and he flung it across the train, all while Iām on the floor trying to calm him down (in a dress) with all the candy I had. Then he starts the kicking, hitting, pulling my hair while everyone in rush hour stares on the train, most thinking I was a bad parent who had an out-of-control child, even though really he canāt help it. Sometimes Andrew's emotions just become too much for him to mentally work through, but when people start staring and Andrew notices, he takes this as opportunity to put on a show.
I blurt out loud, āIām so sorry he has autism!!!ā in an attempt to stop the stares.
He was getting worse and I knew we had to get off. We got off at Gallery Place, one stop up from Metro Center where we change lines, still he doesnāt let up and it gets worse. He refuses to get back on the train and insists on leaving the station — even though we couldnāt. Now weāre rolling around on the dirty station floor. He is covered in black dirt. I try picking him up but he continues to kick which now gets dirt on me. This goes on for about 15 minutes. Trust me, this isnāt my first rodeo as a single parent, but sometimes it just gets the best of me. At this point I am crying out of pure frustration and feeling so sad that Andrew is being judged right now.
I panic as I see someone walking towards us, but it turns out to be a Metro Police Officer.
As soon as he comes over, Andrew freezes and stares while holding my hands, body mid-air, feet stretched out on me, while I was standing. The officer asks me if I needed any help or if he could help by walking us out of the station (since he saw how Andrew stopped when he came over) I explained the situation to him and how this wasnāt even our stop. He asked where I was going and I told him Ballston station (a solid 30 minutes from where we were). Without hesitation he said, āOK, Iāll come on the train."
At this point, Iām thinking he means like down the escalator to the train.
He starts talking with Andrew and showing him all his gadgets. He then takes off his Velcro police badge from his vest and asks Andrew, āCan you be a policeman with me and help me do police work on the train?ā Of course, Andrew says yes.
The officer ends up riding the metro THE ENTIRE train home with us!
Whenever he got off, he would hold Andrew's hand and walk with him. He sat next to Andrew as he requested on the train, acted interested as he showed him silly videos, and he even made funny faces in the Instagram face filters when Andrew asked.
This officer COMPLETELY went out of his way to help Andrew. He honestly restored my faith that there are good people still left in the world.Ā To that officer, I truly can not say thank you enough for your immeasurable amount of kindness and for making Andrew's day (probably his whole year).
This post was written byĀ Taylor Pomilla and reprinted with permission.
