You can pick your partner, but sadly, you cannot pick your in-laws. And sometimes, no matter how hard you try to make things better, there's just no getting around it: You and your mother-in-law are not going to get along. One woman on Reddit seems to be going through this, and was shocked by her MIL's recent behavior at her baby shower. While setting the menu, the mother-in-law ignored her serious gluten allergy and ordered gluten-filled Italian food for the party, because she "didn't believe" the mom-to-be actually had an allergy.
The drama all started when the woman's sister asked her MIL to step in with some of the baby shower prep.
Her MIL was put in charge of food selection, but instead of considering what the mom-to-be (and person of honor) wanted to eat, she sort of … well, did whatever she wanted.
"Of course what she wanted was Italian," the poster explained. "Now, this would be fine except I have a severe gluten allergy and the catering place she ordered from did not have gluten-free options."
The poster's sister was furious, and immediately told their mom, who then set out to make a gluten-free lasagna for the mom-to-be.
"Crisis averted, right?" the poster continued. Wrong.
Her MIL proceeded to invite friends to the shower -- one of whom offered to make cake. But she failed to mention the whole gluten thing.
This again left the mom-to-be with no food options come dessert time. ("Why would I eat cake at my own baby shower, right?" she wrote.)
Once again, her own family had to scramble.
"My sister went out and bought a gluten-free cake, one that was decorated to fit our fox theme (the other cake had horses)," she continued.
In the end, she was TICKED.
"So to recap, my MIL ordered food and arranged a cake for my baby shower that, had I eaten any, would have placed [my baby] in serious jeopardy," she wrote.
"At the time, I thought all of this was just thoughtlessness, her doing things that made sense solely from her perspective," she continued. But recently, she learned the horrifying truth.
Recently, the woman's husband casually mentioned having to tell his mom "not to poison" her food.
"Apparently she didn't believe I actually had an allergy, and was 'joking' that she'd sprinkle some in just to see my reaction," she continued. "My SO told her that if she did that we'd move across the country and go permanently [without contact].
"He also asked her how she'd react if he started joking about putting cyanide into her horse's food, which actually got her to stop and think," she wrote.
Now, the woman is wondering whether the whole baby shower food fiasco was "less about selfishness, and more about punishing me through my allergy."
Some people warned the mom-to-be that she should NEVER eat any of her MIL's food again.
"Don't ever eat anything she prepared or even had a chance to touch," one commenter wrote. "How does your Dear Husband feel about taking his mom to court if she poisons you? That's what will need to happen after you recover from your ER visit, because it's LITERALLY PREMEDITATED, so I hope he's up to the task."
"The thing that strikes me as particularly horrible is that not only was she willing to poison you, but to do it while you were pregnant!" another person added. "Seriously, if your LO has any food allergies, never, ever leave them alone with her, and don’t allow your LO to eat at her house."
"I think after hearing this, I would never eat anything she served or prepared," a third person advised. "Period."
Other people told her that she should never speak to her MIL again.
There was no excuses for this, they said — it's time to cut the cord.
"She threatened you with attempted murder/poisoning," one commenter wrote. "She is gone bye-bye. She never sees you or your kid again."
"I would stay away or have minimal contact," another person commented. "If LO has an allergy, would she 'sprinkle' some in to his food as well? If she was willing to risk your life and your unborn baby's life, then what other dumb stunts would she pull? Hell naw!!"
One thing's for sure: This topic got people HEATED.
"It irritates me so much when people think they're doctors and disbelieve an allergy," a third person wrote. "Never ever tamper with someone's food!!!!!! Does she need to SEE you try to die before she'll understand it? She's both selfish and self-absorbed. Maybe the moving thing wouldn't be such a bad idea."
Later in the thread, the poster reiterated that her allergy is incredibly serious.
"[It's] almost Celiacs, except I can't even touch gluten without getting contact dermatitis or hives," she explained. "The good news is that I don't have the kind of allergy that would send me to the ER. What I do have is like Celiacs on steroids, where I get upper GI bleeds and can't absorb vitamins (something I hear is important during pregnancy) and eventually my body starts acting like I have an autoimmune disease. It'd be hard to pin it on MIL just because it's not immediate."
She also shared that since the whole thing went down, she's cut off most contact with her MIL. Her husband, however? He doesn't want to cut ties completely (after all, it's his mother). But the poster isn't loosening her stance any time soon.
In the end, the mom-to-be probably does need to be extra careful when eating with her in-laws (just in case). Or at the very least, ban her MIL from planning any parties in the future.
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