Teaching kids about consent can be a delicate thing when you're talking about 5-year-olds. When children also face certain learning or social differences, communicating what's appropriate and what's not can become even more tricky. That was apparently the case at one Tennessee elementary school, where administrators say a 5-year-old "overstepped his boundaries" with a classmate. Instead of just getting a gentle talking to, however, the school reportedly filed a complaint with the state — and his family is (understandably) not happy.
The incident allegedly happened earlier this month at East Ridge Elementary in Chattanooga.
The student in question is a 5-year-old boy named Nathan, who the school principal says has received a talking to about his hugging and other boundary issues on more than one occasion, according to News 9.
Summery Putnam, Nathan's guardian, said the kindergartner has autism, which makes understanding certain social cues a bit more challenging for him. She insisted that the whole thing has been one big misunderstanding and is pretty appalled by the lengths the boy's school has gone to.
Putnam said she got a call at home three weeks ago, when Nathan's teacher gave her a stern warning.
"I was sick to my stomach," Putnam told News 9. "The teacher called me and she said, 'You need to have a talk with Nathan about boundaries.'"
Putnam was crestfallen over what she said was a gross misinterpretation of the boy's intent, explaining that a teacher accused him of making unwanted sexual advances after hugging a child and kissing another on the cheek.
"If you don't understand how autism works, you'll think he's acting out or being difficult," Putnam told News 9, "but that's not the situation."
She's livid that the report will go on Nathan's record and may cause issues down the road.
Nathan's guardian isn't the only one who's upset over the whole thing. So is his grandmother, who took to Facebook to vent her frustration.
In a private Facebook post obtained by News 9, Debi Amick reportedly sounded off about the incident:
"What do you do when a 5-year-child is being labeled a sexual predator and accused of sexual harassment by the school system? It was disclosed that it will go in his record for the rest of his life that he is a sex offender. This child is autistic, he comprehends and functions very different than your typical 5-year-old. What do you do? Who do you turn to for help when the school will not even listen to the child’s doctor when he explains the child’s difficulties in his comprehension of simple things such as boundaries. If anyone can offer advice or help please do."
School officials insist they followed protocol by escalating the incident, because it had happened more than once, and refute the family's portrayal.
“School personnel are required to [present] concerns regarding children to the Department of Child Services (DCS),” a school representative said, according to WTVC. “It’s up to DCS to determine if those reports are acted on by DCS and what form those actions may take.”
On Wednesday, the school district issued a new statement refuting much of what Putnam and her family had alleged about the incident:
“Hamilton County Schools is committed to the safety and well-being of all students. Our school leaders work to serve our families and meet the needs of our diverse learners. This family’s characterization of the incident with their child at East Ridge Elementary does not capture the full context of the concerns expressed to them by the school. It was not a hug or kiss that prompted the school to contact the family. Also, at no time did the school administration punish the child or treat the incident as a discipline issue. Moreover, no one at the school sought to label the child as 'a sexual predator.'”
While she waits for further action, Putnam still can't believe the school took things so far.
"He doesn't know what he's doing wrong," she said, adding that she has since switched Nathan's classroom and enrolled him in a special ed program.
Regardless of how this case turns out, here's hoping the kindergartner will get the special care and attention he needs in a new environment — as well as acceptance.
