Mother-in-laws have been known to be a little, ahem, overzealous about their dreams of wanting a new grandbaby. But we're sure there have been few as gung-ho on the whole idea as one grandma whose story is making the rounds on Reddit. In an exasperated post, one mom-to-be writes that her husband's mother has just learned that in some cultures, grandmas also help breastfeed their grandbabies — and now she's very excited to give it a whirl. Of course, the pregnant mom is not crazy about the idea, but she doesn't know how to break the news to Grandma that it's never going to happen.
The main problem is, Grandma doesn't seem to have any boundaries.
As her daughter-in-law explained in her post, her MIL is well-meaning but a little bit nutty. The mom-to-be is due in November, and her MIL's latest idea is really sending her over the edge.
"She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it’s a great idea," explains the daughter-in-law, about the MIL's new breastfeeding discovery. "I have told her gross no, my mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits."
Adding to the weirdness of things is the fact that the grandma is in her 60s, which isn't exactly an ideal age to start breastfeeding (even if the whole grandma thing wasn't already super weird). It's unclear whether grandma plans to work to induce lactation or is under the impression her milk will come in as soon as she meets grandbaby, but either way mom wants nothing to do with it.
"I don’t know what to do," the poster continued. "I’m beyond done with this woman, but out of respect for my husband I am trying to keep a level head, but I’m starting to fail with my due date fast approaching … "
Many people told the mom that it was up to her husband to put his mom in her place.
"Your husband should be the one shutting her down!" one commenter advised. "'Out of respect' for your husband? I’m sorry, but where the [expletive] is HIS respect for YOU? He needs to tell his mom to stop. Now."
"Your husband needs to pull his head out of his [expletive] and realize and explicitly tell his mom that she will never be allowed alone with this baby," a second person added.
"Have you asked him how he feels about his mum breastfeeding (!!) his child?" another person asked. "Surely he must have a limit with this woman."
But mostly everyone agreed one one thing: This granny needed to learn that there was no way this breastfeeding thing was going to happen.
One commenter joked that the situation was pretty confusing.
"I didn’t think a 60-year-old woman could produce milk," the person wrote. "Is it powdered? All jokes aside, this is a hill to die on. I’ve heard of MILs using grandchildren as do over babies but this is ridiculous."
"That is totally a thing in other cultures, but I’m guessing not yours," someone else commented. "Furthermore from a medical standpoint once the milk supply dries up, and I would guess hers has, it’s extremely difficult to get it going again. This is creepy, weird, and has hand that rocks the cradle written all over it."
A third person agreed, saying this was straight-up not happening.
"Now yes, I have heard of cultures where a younger granny can put a baby to the breast, but … this is not one of them," the person wrote. "MIL is 60+ and her kitchen is closed. There is no need for granny to volunteer to feed your child. She had her chance to breastfeed her children; now is is your turn.
"Perhaps when she brings it up yet again, you should look her in the eye and say, "No, MIL. You will not be nursing my infant. You had your chance … why are you denying me MY chance to breastfeed my own child? Why would you take that away from me? I'm sorry, I will not allow this. My baby, my breasts, that's final. Please do not bring this up again."
After reading responses to her story, the mom-to-be decided that it was time for her husband to confront his mama.
Later in the thread, the original poster updated to say that she was feeling "very empowered" after reading through the responses.
"I feel it’s his responsibility to confront her and set the boundaries, he differs," she continued. "I’m hoping after showing him the hundreds of responses he can see that I’m not the crazy one thinking he needs to talk to her early and often about what we want and don’t want for our child with her.
"He is very supportive but hates upsetting his mom, which I get, but it can’t be at my expense which is how it feels right now," she added. "He is tired of talking about it, this started around Labor Day, but with no resolve or boundaries I just can’t get over it."
Here's hoping that a firm conversation between the MIL and her hubby can sort things out. But if not, maybe the future mom can also have her doctor go over the many reasons why this would be good for no one.
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