One mom claims she's being pushed to her limits by her mother-in-law, who's insisting that her newborn son get circumcised — even though that mom has already said she's against it. The two keep butting heads over the controversial issue, but now, the mom is looking for advice on how to get her MIL to give it up and, in her words, "stop talking about my son's penis."
In an anonymous Reddit post, the mom explained that she's never really been keen on the idea of circumcision.
Although her husband did say that he wanted their son to get the procedure, no one was more adamant about it than her mother-in-law.
"You’re getting him circumcised, right?" her MIL allegedly asked. Even though the mom-to-be was hesitant to say yes, her husband's mother kept pushing.
"Well, it’s cleaner," she said. "They’ll do it right in the hospital, too."
"I didn’t want to argue with her about how it’s unnecessary," the mom continued, adding that the cost of circumcising ain't cheap, either. "She already finds me to be a crunchy hippie for wanting to cloth diaper and breastfeed which is totally something only weirdos do. E**yeroll."
When it came time to actually go through with the surgery, her son had serious health complications, which made the mom even more hesitant.
Her son wound up having a slew of breathing problems, and in the rush to get him healthy, there was little time to consider whether he should be circumcised.
"Dear Son spent 30 days in the NICU," she explained, adding that her husband had to take an entire month off of work just to be able to visit. "I was on 'mat leave,' but being self-employed I wasn’t getting any type of paycheck. Money was tight."
Needless to say, it was a stressful and emotional month. That is why the mom really lost it when her MIL came for her first visit, only to change the baby's diaper and immediately bring up circumcision once more.
"We need to get you circumcised!" the MIL reportedly said to her baby. "Grandma wants you circumcised!"
The mom was mortified, but before she could respond, her husband apparently asked his mother, "Ya got $500?"
That seemed to shut the overly nosey grandma up for the time being, because despite previously offering to pay, it appears she didn't realize how pricey a circumcision could really be.
But the new mom says the topic hasn't been put to bed forever.
"I’m grossed out whenever she brings it up," she continued. "He isn’t your child, so it isn’t your decision and I don’t want your opinion."
As for her husband's opinion on the whole thing?
"[My husband] and I have discussed it further and even though he wants [our son] to 'match daddy' (which is also ew), he said maybe it should be DS’s decision and we shouldn’t take that away from him," she wrote. "I agree, but I’d rather do it now than later if it’s getting done at all."
In the end, the mom said that she "just wanted to vent about how uncomfortable I feel about [other] people talking about my son’s penis," which seems fair enough.
Other commenters agreed that Grandma needed to let go of the circumcision debate, STAT.
"Ewwwwwww, excuse me while I go throw up," one commenter wrote. "Grandma needs to back off, it isn't her decision, or she just might find that she's the one being 'circumcised,' i.e cut off."
"Yeah it's weird," another added. "And gross. Why does she care even remotely about your sons foreskin? That's [expletive] uncomfortable. I fully agree that it's not okay."
Another person said the mom needs to work on just being direct.
"'Your obsession with (LOs) penis is disturbing. This topic is off the table,'" the commenter advised her to say. "Just keep reminding her she is arguing about her grandchild’s sexual organs, something she shouldn’t even be thinking about."
Plenty of other people agreed that this was probably one area where dad and son don't actually need to "match."
"'Our junk should look the same' is NOT a legitimate reason to have someone hack parts off of your son," one person wrote.
"I hate the 'we should match' argument," another said. "Why? For all the times you're hanging out butt naked comparing [penises] with your kid??"
At the end of the day, whether you choose to circumcise your son is a personal one. But it's something you and your partner need to agree on.
Luckily, it seems like this couple finally has. In a later update to the post, the mom shared that she and her husband have come to an agreement.
"We’ve basically agreed that we’ll do it if medically necessary or he asks for it later in life," she wrote. "Now that I have a concrete answer from the SO, this is what we can tell MIL and she can drop it."
(Fingers crossed.)
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