
If every mom on maternity leave could have just one wish, it would probably be to have an extra set of hands (OK, and the ability to sleep through the night). That's why one new mom on Reddit simply asked her husband to watch the baby briefly while she went into the other room. Sounds like a pretty normal occurrence, right? Well apparently, she didn't show enough gratitude to her husband for all of his hard work watching his own child after it was all said and done, because he got annoyed that she didn't even thank him.
All the mom wanted was to have some time alone to try on clothes from her closet and see what worked with her new post-baby body.
The mom wrote on Reddit that she's on maternity leave and just wanted to see what clothes still fit.
"I can technically do this while my husband is at work but the kiddo was really fussy and I was working through a new recipe so I didn't have the time," she explained.
So, she asked him to feed and watch their little one while she had some time alone.
Her husband was totally cool with it and was not at all angry that he was asked to watch their child — oh wait, PSYCH!
In fact, later that night, the Reddit poster's husband complained that he didn't get any time to relax after work.
"And [he complained] how I didn't even thank him for helping me out tonight," she wrote.
What! A "thank you" for watching his own baby? Our minds are blown.
The poster was pretty floored, too. After all, he's not the babysitter — he's the dad.
"I got upset and said that spending time with his child is not a favor he's doing for me, it's just being a parent," she explained. "He said that on the days he is working, the kiddo should be my responsibility since I'm on maternity leave and I have time to rest during the day."
Now, she's rethinking a lot of things and is sick of being "on call" while her husband is decidedly not.
According to the mom, she puts in way more than 40 hours worth of work with their newborn.
"I even sleep in a separate room so the nightly feedings don't wake my husband up," she added. "I just get so sick of being 'on-call' all the time."
She also vented that sometimes, all she really wants is to be able to focus on one task without feeling guilty about not spending time with her son.
Still, she does feel a little guilty now for getting angry with her husband.
"He really is the most amazing person and he works so hard to give us a great life," she wrote. "I make it a point to acknowledge the effort he puts in and thank him for everything he does which is why he made that comment about not thanking him for helping."
"AITA for expecting him to interact with the baby on some of the days he works and not seeing it as a favor he's doing for me?" she wondered.
Judging by the comments, Redditors placed 0% of the blame on Mom in this scenario.
"Your husband should realize he’s the co-parent of the child," one commenter wrote. "You asked for something pretty minuscule and he’ll have to get used to it for many years to come. I mean come on. There doesn’t need to be thanks. It’s implied that he’s helping and you can work on organizing your clothes."
Another person couldn't figure out if watching a baby was hard work or relaxing, based on the husband's comments.
"I also love how the dad taking care of the baby is hard work worthy of a special thank you, but mom taking care of the baby has plenty of time to rest," the person wrote. "So which is it? Hard work, or restful?"
But at least one person didn't mince words.
"Absolutely not," the person shot back. "He's a parent, the child is not a basket of laundry that can wait till the weekend. Life sucks, get a helmet."
A few people thought the mom could have squeaked in a tiny thank you for the gesture.
"You could thank him for giving you some time to do you," one person argued. "He could appreciate his own responsibility."
A second person agreed. "Just because he’s doing something expected of him doesn’t mean you shouldn’t show appreciation and vice versa."
At least one person thought that the mom should be teaching her kids gratitude — and practicing with her "big child first."
"Yes, spending time with the child should be something he does without being asked," the commenter wrote. "Him feeling entitled to praise for being with the child is The [Expletive]. But him being in the wrong doesn't make you not The [Expletive]. I would say you suck, just a teeny little bit.
"Reasoning: You should reward good behavior, and a simple thanks goes a long way. This is something you need to learn when the child gets older as well, because that's how you should raise children… why not practice with the big child first?" the person continued.
"Even if he ought to spend that time with the kid, he also still helped you out, allowing you to get stuff done in a less stressful way," the commenter concluded. "Something you should be able to expect, yes, but still nice."
After reading through the comments, the mom seemed to take back some of her frustration.
It's not that her husband is a bad dad, she argued — it's that she wants him to not look at playing with their baby as "work."
"On the weekends he is very involved and gives the baby and me plenty of attention," she wrote later in the thread. "I don't want to give the impression that he is absent at all."
Plus, the mom added that since her son's colic has passed, he's a pretty easy baby to handle.
"He just needs someone to talk to him and make funny facial expressions and walk him around," she continued.
But why does that always have to be the mom?
"I guess I got a bit butthurt cause I don't feel like I gave him an exhausting task. I do the pumping, the night feedings, most of the diapers, the baths, doctors appointments, nail trimmings, maintaining supplies, laundry, and so on… and if the baby starts crying hysterically, I always step in," she explained.
"He really is a great dad," she added. "I just feel like he needs to play with the kiddo sometimes. It's not work."
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